Long Journey, the Car and other stuff

Apologies that this blog was published a little later than usual. It has been so madly busy around here that I didn’t have time to finish writing it and am finishing it early Sunday morning. So, hello everyone, it feels like ages since we last chatted and so much has happened.

Firstly, the journey to collect the girls from university, how did that go? When I arranged things with Franki, she assumed I would collect them mid-morning. No, I said, I want to avoid rush hour traffic, I will be there by eight. No, you won’t, they retorted. That would mean being on the road by five and I can’t see you doing that.

Reader, guess what, I was on the fecking road by five. I got everything ready the day before, was up at 4.30 for a quick pee, a gulp of tea and a blueberry breakfast bar, and then I hit the road. It was just me and the lorry drivers at that hour in the morning. They all sat in the inside lane, and I bombed past them. It was a wonderful, clear run and I was pulling up outside the girl’s university accommodation at a couple of minutes past eight. I phoned them. I’m here, I announced. There was a disbelieving silence, then — bugger, umm, okay, we just have to put our shoes on — hmm, methinks they didn’t believe I’d actually arrive this early.

Anyway, they let me in so I could pee and help them pack up food items they were bringing back to use during their stay. Twenty-five minutes later we were on the road and heading south. I wanted to get the fiddly bits of the A500 behind us and be on the M6 before stopping for coffee and breakfast, so we pulled over at Keeles Welcome Break Services at about nine. After a much-needed coffee, and bacon and sausage bap, we climbed back into the car and off we went. By now, it was nine-thirty and as we headed south on the M6 we drove past a twenty-mile tailback of traffic stationary on the M6 heading north.

Just think, I said, gesturing at the bumper-to-bumper traffic jam. If I was going to pick you up at ten as you wanted, I’d be sitting in that lot.

As it was, I’d timed the journey perfectly and we reached home at midday. By now, I was stiff from sitting behind the wheel for six hours and desperately needed to move about. I had a cup of tea while they unpacked and settled in and then we went for a walk about town. There were a couple of things they wanted to pick up and I needed to get keys cut for them for the new lock. It was a chilly day and spitting with rain, but it was good to be walking and out in the fresh air. I treated us all to hot chocolate in the Abbey Gardens and then we wandered home for dinner. I had a lasagne all prepared and ready to slide in the oven, with peas and garlic bread, and Ben & Jerry’s ice cream for afters.

It was Good Friday the next day so we rested and to be honest, I can’t remember what we did. I know I must have prepared for the Stonham Barns Easter Craft Fair because I was going to be up and off early on Saturday morning. The weather wasn’t great again. It was bitterly cold with a nasty spitting rain that I think kept some people away. We were in the big barn right at the end of the showground and there was inadequate signage letting people know we were there. There was live music with a young lad singing popular songs. Don’t get me wrong, he was very good, but he was also very loud. People struggled to hear what we traders were saying. Sometimes they gave up and simply walked away. Footfall was low. A fellow author spoke to one of the organisers and pointed out that without signs no one realised there was trading in the barn, and they agreed to have signs up for the next day.

The weather the next day was even worse. It was bitterly cold and pouring with rain. Typical British Easter weather. A few of the traders who had been there on Saturday failed to arrive on Sunday and I can’t say I blame them. I had noticed that they didn’t seem to sell anything. I did sell a few books though. By the time I added it all up at the end of the weekend, I had sold enough books to just about cover my expenses with a small profit and I guess it’s all about exposure and getting my name and my books out there. Plus, it was the first time this craft fair had been held. I think lessons could be learnt from the experience. If I do the event next year, I think being in the marquee would potentially be more beneficial. It’s the first thing the public comes to after leaving the car park, instead of being at the end of a long muddy field when people are tired, and all shopped out.

But then this year was all about trying every event we could and seeing what sticks.

Monday was a bank holiday, so I was able to rest and spend some time with the girls. They had been busy the whole weekend I was at the craft fair. Their dissertations for their bachelor’s had to be submitted on Wednesday, so they were finishing them off. I did what I could to help on Monday and spent three hours proofreading them to check spelling, grammar, and punctuation.

It was weird going back to work for only one day on Tuesday and I kept thinking that it was Monday. I was very tired though and it was a relief to go home at six knowing that I had the next five days off.

Wednesday dawned clear and sunny, which was a nice change from the wet, cold, windy days we had been experiencing. Desperate for fresh air and exercise, we piled into the car and drove to West Stow Country Park. Only a few miles from town, it’s a site of archaeological importance as the remains of an Anglo-Saxon village were discovered there in the seventies. I remember going there on a school field trip in 1977 and still have photos of the few houses they had reconstructed.

We have visited periodically over the years and when Franki was young it was a popular destination because of the rather awesome play area for children. Set in thick sand, there are climbing frames, swings and slides and other fun things to do. There’s a café with a large wooden balcony to sit on that always sells very nice cakes. There’s a long walk along the river and lake. They hold fun activity days such as archery, Anglo-Saxon re-enactment days, and a Lord of the Rings Quest Day. The reconstructed village itself is always being added to as more houses are discovered.

We had a great walk and went bug hunting. There was much excitement when an unusual species of ant was discovered. Before coming home, we sat at a table in the sunshine and had coffee and snacks.

Wednesday is also market day in Bury St Edmunds so when we got home, we went for a long wander about town and did some charity and vintage shop rummaging. Interesting books and unique rings were bought. All in all, we must have walked miles, and we weren’t finished yet. We were meeting friends at a local pub for dinner and to take part in the quiz they hold every Wednesday evening. I’ve done the quiz before and know how hard it is. Now, I’ve done a lot of pub quizzes in my time and usually, I’m pretty good at them but this quiz is weird. I can’t explain what it is, but the questions are not split into general knowledge or sport or literature categories, they are all random and mixed up and I am rubbish at them. I very much relied on the skills of my teammates, but we still came third, despite me not being much help.

After all that walking on Wednesday, we were exhausted the next day so didn’t do too much, or that much the next, to be honest. It was nice spending time together as I haven’t seen them since Christmas. On Friday, I prepared for another market the next day and went to meet my fellow local authors for a drink in the afternoon.

Saturday morning, I was up and off early to the Laxfield Community Market. Again, it was a slow start book sale wise and I’m still undecided whether these markets are worth the hour-long drive each way. Yes, the pitch fee is low, and I did sell eight books which was enough to cover my costs, but it is a long way and quite a bit of wear and tear on the car as the roads are terrible with gaping potholes along the edges. Remember, it was a pothole that did my car in and was the reason it failed its MOT last month.

On Sunday we were meeting the rest of the family for lunch to celebrate my parent’s 60th wedding anniversary. The plan was that I would drive out to the village where my parents and my brother and his partner live, pick them up so everyone could relax and have a drink, and then they would all share a taxi home.

I jumped in my car at 11.30. Turned the key. The car started but I noticed that the radio didn’t come on. I tried to drive to the end of my road. It was like trying to drive a tank. The steering wheel was cumbersome, and it was a struggle to turn it. I indicated to turn onto the main road. The indicator didn’t work. Every single error light was lit up on the dashboard — including some I never knew existed. By now, I was horribly aware that something was very wrong indeed. There was no way I could drive the car the way it was. I turned into the large car park of the retirement flats behind my road. Luckily, it was empty as I fought with the heavy steering wheel and did about a fifteen-point turn. I thought the power-assisted steering must be broken. I managed to get back onto my road and into a parking space at the end of the row of parked cars, thinking that parallel parking was probably beyond my capabilities. I noticed that the speedometer wasn’t working either. I tested the lights, wipers, and washers. Nope, nope, and nope. Bugger! I needed this like I needed a hole in the head. Having just paid out to get the car through its MOT I did not need yet more expense.

I phoned my parents to let them know what had happened. Don’t worry, said my mum, I’ll drive us in. She did. We went for lunch then afterwards sat in the garden with a cheeseboard and wine. It was windy but not too bad under shelter. The whole time I was worrying about the car. I had zero pennies to pay for major repairs and if I had to buy a new car … well, that wasn’t going to happen … and then how was I going to attend all the events I was booked in for? More importantly, how was I going to get the girls back to uni the following week?

Various theories were floated across the table as to what might be wrong with the car including the alternator, electrics, and a computer chip … they all sounded expensive, so I silently fretted. It was Sunday, so I couldn’t even phone my mechanic.

Monday morning, at work, as soon as I knew my garage would be open, I called them. Drop it off when you can, they told me, and we’ll try to look at it. We are busy right now though, so it might take a few days. To add to my misery, I’d gone down with the sore throat and bad cough lurgy that was doing the rounds and was feeling rough. Leaving work at six, the last thing I felt like doing was trying to drive a car with no power-assisted steering or speedometer across town and then walking home. Briefly, I wondered about trying to do it in the morning. But I must be at work by 8.30 and there wouldn’t be time. I needed to get it to the garage ASAP. I had no choice, I had to do it. I was dreading trying to drive the damn thing. The worst part was trying to turn it around in my road, it was like trying to turn a dumpster. My arms were aching by the time I made it onto the main road. Given the time of day, there wasn’t too much traffic about and once the car got going, I found taking corners a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. Still, I breathed a huge sigh of relief when I made it to the garage in one piece and without annoying anyone with my lack of signalling and clumsy turning. There was a nice big space for me to drive straight into, so I did. I dumped the keys in the overnight key box and walked home.

As they had said they’d be too busy to look at the car straight away, I was alarmed to see a missed call and a voicemail from the garage mid-morning on Tuesday. I listened to the message.

Hi Julia, your car is fixed and ready to be collected.

Wait. What?

I phoned them back.

It was a fuse, they told me. A fuse had blown so we’ve replaced it and now everything is fine.

I couldn’t believe it. A blown fuse had caused all that car catastrophe. But I took the win and told them I’d collect the car on Wednesday.

By now, the tickly cough and mildly sore throat had changed into a hacking and persistent cough which annoyed everyone, including me, and every time I swallowed it felt like I had razorblades in my throat. After two long days at work, I dragged myself home Tuesday evening to find the girls busy making us all homemade Chinese for dinner. There was wine in the fridge and a beautiful bunch of flowers in a vase for me. They knew I wasn’t well and that I was worried about the car, so had decided to pamper me. Of course, once I told them the good news about the car it turned into a celebration. We watched one of my favourite films, Sense and Sensibility (the Emma Thompson and Alan Rickman version) and all had early nights.

Wednesday, I walked across town to collect the car. I need to apply for a passport. Not because I’m going abroad for a holiday — the chance would be a fine thing — but because I need it to prove I am a UK citizen. Being born here, paying National Insurance and tax for forty years, and owning property is apparently not enough. My new job means I subcontract to the company so must register for a tax code and will need to do a tax return. When I tried to apply, I needed two forms of ID, but I only had one, my driving licence, and it was going to be impossible for me to get any of the other accepted forms of ID, so I had to bear the expense of having a passport photo taken and paying for a passport which I don’t need. I called into a photography shop that is registered to take passport photos and had one done. I looked at it and cringed. I looked exhausted and ill in it, probably because I was. Oh well, no one is ever going to see it.

I originally had a grocery collection slot of 10am but when it looked like I would not have a car I changed it to a home delivery slot of 5pm. Wednesday is the day I always strip beds and do laundry, but I’d noticed when I put the first load in that morning that I was running low on laundry tabs so bought a box on my walk across town to collect the car as I’d forgotten to put them on the list.

The relief when I got into the car, turned the key, and everything in the car worked, was indescribable. I drove home. It was like driving a cloud compared to driving it there. I’d never realised what a difference power-assisted steering made.

Wednesday night my cough peaked. The back of my throat kept going into spasms and I would cough and cough and cough until I imagined my next-door neighbour was sick to death of me. I was sick to death of me as well and it was a very tired and bleary-eyed Julia who staggered downstairs the next morning.

Incapable of doing much, I went for a brief walk with the girls to a patch of natural woodland behind the college in town. They wanted to search for bugs, and I just needed the fresh air and gentle exercise. It was a lovely day, mild and sunny. The woodland was carpeted with beautiful spring flowers and the trees were pretty. After an hour though, I was spent and needed to go home to rest until dinner.

I don’t usually work on a Friday, but my co-worker was on holiday, so I was covering for her. It was a very long day. Still not well, I struggled to keep going and was very pleased to go home, heat a bowl of soup for myself and then flake out on the sofa. The girls had gone out for dinner, so I had the place to myself and read quietly with the latest David Attenborough documentary on the TV until they came home.

Yesterday, Saturday, I struggled to get going. Although I had ordered the repeat prescription of my thyroid medication in plenty of time, I didn’t get the text telling me it was ready for collection until Friday evening, so I hadn’t taken any since Thursday morning and I was beginning to really feel it now. Without the medication, I experience chronic fatigue, joint pain, headaches, sleep issues and vagueness. I tried to write as much of this blog as I could, but there was housework to do, a book review to write, and a potato gratin to make ready for dinner.

By late afternoon, I was shaky on my feet, but we all walked down to the pharmacy to collect my meds. It was closed. The times on the door and the website both claimed it would re-open at five, it was now just gone four, so we went to visit Franki’s grandmother who is in a care home a five-minute walk away. We walked back to the pharmacy at five. It was still closed. We waited and waited. No sign of it opening. We were calling into a fellow author’s book launch party at a local pub and didn’t want to be late so had to leave without my medication. I hope they’re open sometime today so I can drive around and get my meds. It’s so annoying. If you’re not going to be open at the times the website and your opening times door poster state, then stick a note on the door saying when you will be open, so people know if it’s worth waiting.

As Saturday was our last evening together with no work the next day, we had a lovely big dinner with posh ice cream for dessert, all washed down with a bottle of pink prosecco. I can’t believe how quickly the holiday has flown by. We had so much planned to do, but between me having to work, the three days of events I was already booked to do, and my illness, we haven’t done as much as we planned.

And now it’s Sunday. Our last day together as I must work on Monday and Tuesday and then I’m driving them back to university. Not looking forward to that journey. The journey up won’t be so bad because they will be with me, but I don’t like driving long distances alone so will be pleased when I get home safely.

I will miss them when they’re gone, but I am looking forward to the peace of an empty house so I can start writing my next book. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, yes, the lodger has now fully moved in but he’s out a lot and is so quiet when he is here that we barely know there is anyone else living in the house. The perfect lodger, in other words.

Anyway, this is now a simply mahoosive blog and it’s almost nine so I need to get it published and distributed to you, otherwise you might think there is no blog this week and go off and read something else.

Take care of yourself and I look forward to chatting with you next time.

Julia Blake

Happy Easter

Happy Easter Everyone! Isn’t it ridiculously early this year and hasn’t March galloped by like a gazelle on speed? I am writing this week’s blog on Wednesday because it’s my only free time before Sunday. By the time you read this on Easter Sunday, I will be either on my way to the Craft Fair at Stonham Barns or already be there. It’s a two-day event so I won’t have time for blog writing on Saturday, and as for Thursday and Friday well … but I’m jumping ahead of myself.

Last time we spoke I was about to do the Gt Yarmouth Sci-Fi Weekender on Friday and Saturday, followed by the Easter Craft Fair at Leiston on Sunday. So, how did it go? I’ve never really been to Gt Yarmouth. Well, tell a lie, I think I must have been when I was a child and have vague memories of going there with a boyfriend in my teens. The childhood visit would have been with my parents in their car, so I would have no concept of the route or how long it took. The day trip with my boyfriend I’m sure we went by train. I packed everything ready on Thursday. I was a little bit nervous because it was an event none of us had done before and because of my uncertainty about the route.

Early Friday morning, I loaded the car and set the destination postcode into Google Maps on my phone. At that hour in the morning, it told me it would be approximately a 1 hour and 20-minute journey. Okay, not too bad. I set off. The first half of the journey was the same as if I was going to Norwich, so it was familiar, then the road bypassed the city and branched off towards the coast. There were a couple of hairy moments on multiple roundabouts, but Google Maps Lady saw me true and soon we were driving over the fenlands. It was a gloriously sunny day but there was a piercing wind blasting over the fens. If anyone has been to Norfolk or seen pictures of it, it’s a landscape without contours, or, as Oscar Wilde famously described it – “Very flat”.

I drove and drove, and then drove some more. It began to feel like I’d never reach my destination, and then suddenly Google Maps lady ordered me to turn left into a holiday park.  To be honest, she did leave it to the last minute, and I pissed off a white van man behind me with my desperately late signalling and abrupt turning. As I entered the car park, I saw a fellow author I knew who indicated to a row of spaces that I should park there. I parked there. Unloaded my boxes onto my little trolley and followed him into a dimly lit hall with rows of seating facing an empty stage.

We had been warned about the rather lackadaisical attitude the organisers of the event had towards trifling things like traders and where the heck we were supposed to be setting up. We looked in vain for anyone in charge to give us instructions. There was no one around. A trader selling lots of plushies, and other such merchandise had nabbed a corner site and was already set up. They informed us there had been a mega party the night before, so everyone was hungover or still in bed or both.

By now, the rest of our party had arrived, so we stood around for a few minutes shrugging and pulling faces at one another. It was well past nine and the event opened at ten, so decisions had to be made. We had paid for two pitches and at £172 per pitch, they weren’t cheap. The normal expectation is that a pitch is a table measuring 6ft by 2ft. We looked at the tables available. They were small pub tables of just over 3ft each. Hmm. Surely, they weren’t charging £172 for such a small table. Two of us were sharing to keep costs down. Sharing a 6ft table is doable, sharing a 3ft one is impossible.

We took matters into our own hands.

Deciding to set up by the door, we carried three tables over. There was just enough room to put three of them in a line without impeding entry or foot flow. We measured the length of the tables — at 10ft 6 inches they were still falling short of usual but sometimes you must work with what you are given — so we went ahead and started setting out our wares. Someone in a high-vis jacket with a lanyard, bloodshot eyes, and clutching a large coffee wandered in and looked at us.

“Are you okay?” they asked. “Is this where you’re supposed to be and is that the right number of tables you’re supposed to have?”

The other two authors looked sheepish. I looked the official straight in the eye. “Yes, we’ve paid for two 6ft pitches so here is the only place we can fit in together.”

They shrugged. “Okay.” They wandered away never to be seen again.

So, how was it?

Completely bonkers. People had travelled from all over the country to attend the four-day event which commenced with a meet and greet reception on Thursday, followed by a mega party from which everyone was struggling to recover.  I spoke to a couple who’d come all the way from the Isle of Mull off the coast of Scotland and a group of lads who’d come from Denmark. Seriously, these were dedicated fans of fantasy and sci-fi who came every year to nerd out with fellow enthusiasts. The costumes were amazing. Real effort had been put into them and the people who came to our stall to talk and buy were all lovely.

Friday was a great day. There were a few events and author panels on the stage during which most trading ceased, but business was brisk in between. We were stunned when several people bought one of every book we were selling. This is what we do, they told us, we buy a year’s worth of reading each year. If by any chance you are reading this Colin, we all love you and are thinking about wearing We Love Colin badges next year. Seriously, this guy bought everything we had, and then came back on Saturday and bought one of all the non-fantasy books I had brought to fill in the gaps because I’d almost sold out the day before.

All three of us were busy for the whole day talking, selling, signing, and handing out cards. It was an amazing day. Stupidly, I hadn’t taken anything to eat with me. I took a 2l bottle of water and drank the lot, but because it was a diet day I thought breakfast would see me through until dinnertime. By one though, I was faint and lightheaded and knew I needed to eat something, preferably carbs, or else risk being unsafe to drive home.

I did what any girl would do in such circumstances. I went in search of chips.

There were several food stands outside the main hall. The first one I looked at sold chips — at £7.99 a portion! I don’t think so. I went a little further and found another one selling a large portion of chips for £3.89. That was more like it. I ordered a portion, and they cooked them fresh whilst I waited. On the chalkboard menu, each item showed not only the price but the calorie content. Did they have to do that? I mean, really, did they have to?! If I’m committed to having chips, I do not need to be informed that there are 851 calories in the portion I’m about to stuff my face with. It could have been worse, adding cheese to the chips boosted the calories to a whopping 1749!

I refrained from having cheese, instead put so much salt and vinegar on I think they feared for my health. I then tucked the warm soggy parcel under my arm and smuggled them back into the main hall.

Technically, there was no food allowed in the hall, but I’d become pals with the doorman when I gave him a good deal on Erinsmore and Mage Quest for his niece and gift-wrapped them prettily for her birthday, so he turned a blind eye as I and my odoriferous parcel wafted by.

I slunk down behind the stall and ate the lot and my word they were good and just what I needed. My energy levels restored, the rest of the day passed in a selling frenzy and by the end of it, we had all sold upwards of 25 books each, which is good.

The others asked if I wanted to stay and have fish and chips before heading for home and I was tempted, but it was going to be a long drive home in rush hour traffic. I was tired and headachy. I just wanted to go home and to be honest, I was all chipped out.

As I drove home there was a beautiful sunset which I enjoyed, despite being half blinded by it, but as I neared home the skies grew menacingly dark overhead. I reached home and unpacked the car. As there was going to be another mega party in the hall that evening, we had been advised to take everything away as they could not be held responsible for the consequences. I had just got everything indoors and dashed to the bathroom for a much-needed pee when the heavens opened, and torrential rain smashed onto the skylight. I was very relieved I’d made a sensible decision for once and come home straight away.

Saturday, we were all bright and perky and looking forward to another fantastic day of trading. But things didn’t work out quite so well as they had on Friday. Event after event took place on the stage with us left sitting behind our stall waiting for things to stop so trading could commence. They never really did. With trading squeezed into a few scant moments between the puppet shows, author panels, cosplay competition, and other shenanigans, we only sold half the amount we had on Friday. Which was annoying and disappointing. Initially, we believed the event ran for four days, which it did. Then we were told there would be no trading on Thursday. Fine. Then we were told no trading on the Sunday. Okay. But, as it turned out, there was only trading on Friday and briefly on Saturday. To charge £172 for a 3ft table and one full day of trading is a bit naughty.

I did the sums, adding up my takings and then subtracting the pitch fee, diesel, the cost of buying the books plus the postage charged by Amazon to get them to me, the cost of bookmarks, gift wrapping sundries, bags, and even allowing something for the paper and ink for the Julia Blake logos I print and stick on the bags. I did make a profit. Not a huge one, but a profit, nonetheless. Will we do it again next year? That will require thought and discussion. One option is to do what the trader selling plushies had done. They paid for 2 x 6ft pitch spaces and brought their own tables because they’d done the event before and knew what the deal was. Perhaps we could do that. Then we’d be sure of the space we’d have and taking our own tables we would ensure having large enough tables to share. It’s next year though so not a decision we have to make immediately.

As you can imagine, I was exhausted Saturday evening but made sure I unpacked and repacked my boxes ready for Leiston Craft Market the next day. Another long drive, this time out into deepest darkest rural Suffolk. I had faith in my Google Maps lady though.

Sunday dawned a chilly overcast day. I loaded up the car early in the morning, plugged in the postcode and off we went. The first part of the journey was on the A14, so a nice easy run and I made good time. Then I turned off into no man’s land and it was all a bit here be dragons after that. I passed through ravishingly pretty village after village all with improbable names — Coddenham, Ashbocking — how do you bock an ash? Is it some ancient country skill now sadly lost forever?

My great-grandfather was the village ash bocker, don’t you know.

The roads got narrower, the villages more remote, and remember those banjos I mentioned in my last blog? Well, I am positive I really did hear them this time. The roads grew steadily worse with potholes large enough to swallow a mini.

I knew I was heading for Leiston, so when Google Maps spat me back out onto an A road with a signpost to Leiston, I was confident I was nearly there. Turn right, said the signpost. Keep going, said Google Maps lady. Umm, okay. I have faith in you, and I know that there’s always more than one way into a village. The fair was taking place in the football stadium so perhaps that was situated outside the village. Another right turn flashed by for Leiston and then another. Still, the Google Maps lady remained adamant that I needed to keep going. I kept going. I drove through Yoxford. A deep suspicion was growing that I’d gone wrong somewhere. If I kept blindly following the Google Maps lady’s directions, I would simply get wronger. I pulled into a layby and phoned my fellow author whom I was doing the fair with.

Where are you?

Umm. I squinted at a signpost. Saxmundham.

What the hell are you doing there?

That’s a very good question.

I turned around and headed back the way I’d come. Passing through Yoxford I emerged on the other side and saw a turning to the left for Leiston. I took it. Ignoring the plaintive bleeps of the Google Maps lady who was imploring me to turn around, I drove along twisty lanes until I popped out into a village that I assumed was Leiston. Not sure where to go, I saw the White Horse Hotel on the left-hand side which conveniently had a large empty car park. I pulled in and turned off the engine. I found my glasses. Looked at my phone and cancelled my current journey. I then plugged in that my location was the White Horse Hotel in Leiston and that my destination was Leiston Football Stadium.

Your destination is 500 metres on the right, the Google Maps Lady smugly informed me.

Right, good, thanks for that, I muttered.

Reaching the football stadium, I was the last to arrive so was told to quickly unload my car into the hall and then take it away and park it before they opened for business in twenty minutes. Luckily, I’m so used to setting up my stall now that I can do it in my sleep and at speed.

So, after all that, how did it go?

Once again, the weather was against us. It was a cold, wet, muddy day so footfall was down. At least, according to the regular traders it was. The fair was from ten to four and I sold eight books, which doesn’t sound much, but because the pitch fee was only £15 it worked out equally as profitable as Gt Yarmouth. Will I do it again? I’ve booked to do the Summer Fair in June. Let’s see how footfall is then.

Oh, and one last thing. The Google Maps Lady may be very good, but it seems she can’t allow for operator error. In my sleep-deprived state early in the morning, I had plugged in an IP17 postcode instead of IP16, so she was quite correct in her assumption that I wanted to go to Saxmundham. I am sorry for all the names I called you, Google Maps Lady. I promise to do better in future.

After such an exhausting three days, I went back to work on Monday for a rest. After work, I drove the car to my garage and left it there to have its MOT on Tuesday. Hopeful that it wouldn’t cost too much to get it through, I was dismayed when they phoned to say it had failed. I was a bit shocked, to be honest. I’ve never had a car fail before. It turned out the horn wasn’t working, I don’t think I’ve ever used it, so I wouldn’t have known. More seriously, a front spring coil was broken and had to be fixed. Pothole damage most probably, they told me, we’re getting a lot of it this time of year. Hmm, I wonder how that happened. So, that was a total bill of £238 which I could have done without but at least I know the car is sound and roadworthy for my long trip up North to collect the girls from university.

As I’m writing this on Wednesday, I still have it to come tomorrow, but by the time you read this, it will be over and done with. Hopefully, it will have been a smooth and uneventful journey, and we will all be home safe and sound. Well, I will be at the Stonham Barns Easter Craft Fair by the time you read this on Sunday. I am planning to be up at silly o’clock on Thursday to be on the road by 5am to miss all the morning rush hour traffic around Cambridge and Birmingham. I’ve told them to be ready for a quick turnaround. Whilst they load the car I will probably need to pee and then we’ll start the journey back. I plan to get an hour of the journey behind us and then we’ll stop for a bang-up breakfast. By then, I will be desperate for food and coffee.

It will be lovely to have them home for the holiday, even if it does involve a 6-8 hour round trip each way for me. So, it’s going to be a very early night for me with my alarm set for 4.30am.

Gulp. Not looking forward to that.

Finally, Hide & Seek, book six of the Blackwood Family Saga was launched today (Wednesday). It went well, and I was touched by the amount of support I received from people sharing my posts and stories. If you bought a copy then I hope you enjoy it and, if you did, would mind posting a review on Amazon and even on Goodreads if you have an account there? Thank you in advance. I do see and read every review and they mean the world to me.

It’s now almost five and I think I need to switch the heating on. As I’ve sat here writing this it’s grown colder, and I can barely feel my feet. I want to have a shower this evening, so I need to make sure the bathroom isn’t the frozen North beforehand.

Have a wonderful Easter if you celebrate it. If you don’t, then I hope the next two weeks are happy and smooth sailing for you. Will they be for me? Well, probably not, this is me after all.

Take care.

Julia Blake

Little Wins & Losses

Good morning, everyone. I am writing this on Thursday because I will be away at the Gt Yarmouth Sci-Fi and Fantasy Weekender for two long days on Friday and Saturday, and then, as if that wasn’t enough, I will be at the Leiston Community Market all day Sunday. Yep, the event year has begun with a bang. As you will remember, last time we spoke I was off to do the Laxfield Community Market for the first time on the first Saturday in March.

So, how did it go? Well, the weather was against us for a start. It was cold. I mean, bitterly cold, with a nasty sharp wind blowing in from what felt like Siberia. I found the venue okay, even though Satnav took me to the back of beyond and through villages that looked like time had stopped still. I’m sure at one point I heard banjos. Anyway, I got there, and, despite the dire warnings by the organisers, I managed to find a parking space right outside the church.

Two kind men helped me carry all my things inside and guided me to my pitch. The stall had been created by laying a board across two pew ends. Points for creative thinking, but it was a little awkward because I had an ornate wooden pew end bisecting the front of the middle of my stall. I had to work around it, but I think I managed okay. I also couldn’t stand behind my stall — well, not unless I did a limbo underneath it or straddled one of the pews — neither option being attractive, I settled for lurking to one side.

It was cold. Oh, my, was it cold! A 14th-century church is not the warmest place at the best of times. Factor in no heating, the doors being wide open, and that gale-force wind I talked about whipping through, it was so cold that I lost all feeling in my feet and hands, and my nose was so cold it wouldn’t stop running. Not a good look.

It was a little sluggish to begin with. Regular traders assured me that the dreadful weather had impacted footfall. I felt sorry for the stallholders outside the church. It must have been perishing out there, and that wind was threatening to blow them away. The stallholder next to me complained a bit and requested that the heating be switched on. She was ever so politely told no. I could understand the reasoning. The doors had to be left open to encourage people to come in and quite honestly, given the size of the church and the height of the ceiling, the heating would have to have been on for hours before we got there to make any impact at all. The Market is run to raise funds for the church, having the heating on full blast with the ruinous cost of electricity nowadays, would eat up any profit so the church would probably end up out of pocket.

I spoke to a lot of people and handed out quite a few cards, so you never know. One elderly chap did make me laugh though. I saw him work his way up the opposite side of the aisle, spend time looking at the stalls at the top, and then work his way down my side. He stopped by my stall and looked at my books. He clearly wanted to say something, so I smiled encouragingly.

HIM: I’m not a pervert, you know.

ME: Umm, okay. Good to know.

HIM: But I can always tell when a woman is in the family way.

ME: (Looking down wildly at my stomach) Umm. Right?

HIM: They always touch their stomach.

ME: (Quickly removing my hand from my stomach). Okay.

HIM: I sometimes know even before they do.

He then proceeded to tell me a long rambling tale about a lady who served him in the bank many years ago. He told her she was pregnant, and she didn’t even know herself. By this time, I’d pegged him as lonely, desperate to talk to someone, possibly slightly deranged.

HIM: It reminded me when I saw the cover of the book back there.

He gestured vaguely towards the back of the church and the penny dropped. A fellow author who had a stall there has a silhouette of a pregnant woman on one of her book’s covers. It had triggered a memory in him which had fermented in his brain until he reached my stall of books when it burst forth.

The market ran from 10am to 12.30pm, but by midday, the others were beginning to pack up. I sold eight books, which is not bad, and was certainly enough to cover my expenses and time. I am booked to do another one on the 6th of April, so, if you’re passing, why not call in and say hi? Hopefully, it will be a warmer day.

Last week was a week of little wins and freebies. It started when a patient unexpectedly gave me a voucher to have my nails filed and painted at a local beauty salon, which was a lovely surprise. I hadn’t done anything to warrant it, other than compliment her on her nails. I went to the salon on my way home for lunch and booked an appointment for Friday morning. I was going to friends for dinner so thought it would be nice to have my nails done beforehand.

On Wednesday, I set out on a mission to find some new clothes. The diet has gone so well that I’ve lost two stone (28lbs for my American friends) and have dropped a dress size. Whilst I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on clothes which would hopefully soon be too big for me, I did need a few interim bits to see me through. I needed a pair of black work trousers as mine were bagging off my hips. I walked into the first charity shop and looked at the trouser rack. The first pair I picked up were classic, black, tailored Marks & Spencer trousers — still with the tags on stating that they originally cost £25 — I got them for £8. I also got a pair of DKNY jeans for £4.50 and a pair of blue canvas trousers for £3. The next charity shop yielded a beautiful black roll-neck sweater and a good quality charcoal grey long-sleeved t-shirt.

I needed flat black boots. As I’ve mentioned before, I have problems with my ankles giving way so have reluctantly decided heels of any kind are a no-no. I did look around the charity shops but as my needs were so specific, I wasn’t hopeful of success. I went to the shoe shop. They had a sale on, and I picked up a pair of long black biker-style boots with barely-there heels and solid ankle supports. It was the last pair like that I could see, my size, in the sale for £25 down from £70. Fitted a treat and were instantly comfortable. I walked about the shop and felt very safe in them, so I bought them.

I needed more foundation as I was squeezing the dregs from my current tube. I never used to buy expensive foundation but, as I’ve aged, my skin’s needs have become more demanding, and I found the cheaper stuff wasn’t going on very well or doing its job of covering and concealing. I spoke to the lady on the Estee Laude stand two years ago who gave me a free sample to try. It was a game-changer for me. Yes, at almost £50 a tube it’s a lot of money. But the tube lasts me a year because the coverage is astonishing, so it works out more economical than buying lots of the cheaper products. I called into Boots the Chemist and to my joy, not only was it down in the sale to £40 but I got a free tube of foaming cleanser with it. Bargain.

I toddled off to Waitrose to pick up a few bits and pieces. My energy company were giving me free electricity between 1-3.30pm and I planned to cook a lot of meals for the freezer. Whilst in Waitrose, I got a free coffee. I love that they do that and always make sure I take my thermal mug with me to use.

After a very successful cooking session, I ended up with two lasagnas, two portions of spaghetti bolognaise, two portions of chilli, three portions of cauliflower cheese, eight portions of braised red cabbage, two boxes of part-cooked roast potatoes, and eight jacket potatoes. Lots of yummy food that just needs to be reheated or finished cooking.

Friday morning, I had a long lazy shower and styled my hair, then went to have my nails done. In the afternoon, it was the Zoom meeting with my local author group which finished at 5.30pm. That left just enough time to change and freshen my make-up before I was collected to go to dinner.

The lovely Becky Wright who makes my covers, and promo images and checks my formatting had sent through the covers and formatted paperback version of Hide & Seek. I spent most of the day on Saturday uploading it to Amazon, ordering a proof copy, and placing the eBook on pre-order for a publication date of the 27th of March. I also listed the book on Goodreads and prepared the page for the website. It is amazing how much needs to be done before a book is published. Anyway, Hide & Seek is now available to pre-order from Amazon at a special sale price of only £1.99 or local currency equivalent. I will put the universal link below which should work if I manage to figure out the tech correctly. If you prefer a paperback, then that will be out probably a week before the eBook.

https://mybook.to/HideANDSeek

As a bonus for my readers, Lost & Found — book one of the Blackwood Family Saga — is on sale for only 99p or local currency equivalent until launch day. The other books in the series are all also on sale for only £1.99. Again, all prices will return to normal on the 27th of March.

http://mybook.to/LostANDFound

http://getbook.at/FixturesANDFittings

http://getbook.at/SugarANDSpice

http://getbook.at/KissandTell

http://getbook.at/PitchandPace

Buy all 6 books for under £11

After my lovely week of little wins, freebies, and smooth-sailing book dealings, I hoped life had finally settled down. But this week has not been so kind. It started on Monday when I couldn’t find one of my gloves. I know in the grand scheme of things, losing a glove is not a big deal, but I’ve had them for almost twenty years. They are lovely soft leather gloves in an off-black, sludgy green colour. Over the years, the leather has softened and moulded itself to my hands, so they fit me like a … well, like a glove.

It’s so annoying. I can’t think where I could have lost them. The last time I remember wearing them was when I walked home after dinner late last Friday evening. Since then, the only places I have been to are Waitrose and work. I know they’re not at work. I’ve searched home, my handbag, coat pockets and behind the shoe rack. It’s not here. I’ve even gone to Waitrose, and we searched the lost property box. Plenty of gloves, none of them mine. Bit bummed out about this. Like I said, I’ve had the gloves for a very long time, and I liked them. Oh well. There is not a lot I can do about it, other than buy a new pair.

Last week, I noticed a slight trace of water around the base of the sink vanity unit in the bathroom. I mopped it up, assuming I’d been a bit overzealous when washing my hands or something. A few days later, the water was back. I mopped it up again. A day later it was back. Now I began to wonder and keep an eye on it. Yep, there was water seeping from under the unit. I took everything out and tried to look. It’s a fixed unit with a solid bottom shelf which I couldn’t remove to get to the pipes underneath. The leak — if that’s what it is — got worse. Even more worrying, the water had a brown tinge to it. When I wipe it up, the cloth is stained brown. Where is it coming from? Why is it brown?

I made a video of the leak and sent it to my plumber on WhatsApp. I could see he had read it when two ticks appeared beside it. Three days later, he hadn’t responded. The leak was getting worse. Now there was water permanently oozing from under the cabinet. I was worried about it rotting the wood of the cabinet. I tried to see if using the sink made it worse. It didn’t seem to. Then I worried it was water from the toilet system. Which was even more worrying. I made another video showing how bad it had got. Sent it to my plumber. Again, he watched the video but still hasn’t responded. Not even a “Oh dear, sucks to be you, I’m sorry, I’m too busy, find someone else”.

It’s rude and annoying. Okay, I get how busy plumbers are, but a simple text takes seconds to send. At least he could let me know that he is too busy to bother and then I could attempt to find another plumber. God knows where though. Plumbers are rarer than unicorns. I’ve mopped it up again today and washed the floor. I’m out at events for the next three days and then at work for two, so I’m hoping it doesn’t get any worse before next Wednesday because I’m not going to be here to do anything about it. I will need to try and get something done before the next lodger moves in because it doesn’t look very good, having brown water seeping out from under the sink.

And that leads me to the new lodger. He has paid his deposit and the first month’s rent, but because he still had two weeks left on his current lodgings and was going away for a few days, he has delayed moving in until next week, when he will move in gradually. I have a good feeling about this one and it will be nice sharing my home with a grown-up again.

Then late Monday evening, I had a video call from Franki. She and Rys are coming to stay for Easter and were supposed to travel down by train on the 28th of March, returning on the 13th of April. We were aware that train prices were increasing slightly by 4.9% but as it cost £100 to get them both home to Suffolk for Christmas and then back to university, by my reckoning, a rise of almost 5% would only add £5 to the cost. Wrong. They tried to buy their tickets and found that the cheapest return fares would be £300 — and that was with student rail cards.

WTF!!

Now, I was never very good at maths at school, but going from £100 to £300 is not a rise of 5% it’s more like 200%. How can they justify such a hike in prices? I Googled it and read an article where the train companies were stating that an increase was necessary to meet rising costs — yeah, probably increased wages for the drivers. In the same article, it stated that the Government was keen to get people off the roads and onto public transport. I’m sorry. How does a ticket price increase of 200% achieve that?!

Franki and Rys are both students living on student finance and the little amount Franki earns from her part-time job at Sainsbury. There is no way they can afford to pay that — I can’t afford to pay it either and, even if I could, I wouldn’t. This is appalling. It’s once again holding the poorest members of the community to ransom. Students and people who can’t afford cars are the ones this will have the hardest impact on.

It has left me with no other option but to drive up there myself on the 28th and collect them. A round trip of almost eight hours — so much for getting people off the roads — and another round trip of eight hours to take them back on the 17th of April. They are staying a few days longer than originally planned.

I don’t want to do this, but what other choice do I have? We need to get them home and with the train out of the question it only leaves the bus, hitching a lift, or me going to pick them up. The bus is not an option. Too long and complicated a journey which would involve them being dumped on the wrong side of London and a two-hour journey by tube to get to the right side and then another train journey to Suffolk. Hitching, obviously, nope. Not going to happen. So, that leaves me driving up there to collect them.

My car is going for its MOT next Tuesday so I will ask my mechanic to check my oil, water, windscreen wash, and tyre pressure whilst it’s in. At least I will know the car is okay to drive all that way. Fingers crossed that nothing major needs to be done to the car and that the final bill isn’t too eye-wateringly high.

I can’t wait until they go to Reading University. At least that is only a couple of hours away and has much better public transport connections.

It will be lovely to have them home though. They’re here for almost three weeks over the Easter break. We have a lot planned, including a big family lunch at a local restaurant to celebrate my parent’s 60th wedding anniversary. Sixty years with the same person. That’s three life sentences.

I’m doing two live events during that time. The Stonham Barns Craft Market on the 30th of March and then the Laxfield Community Market on the 6th of April. If you’re going to either of those events, again, come and say hello.

Right. I think that is all my news and I need to go and get everything sorted for a very early start tomorrow. We must be there by 9am for a 10am opening and it’s a good hour and thirty-minute drive, depending on traffic. As I took all my contemporary books to the last event and Gt Yarmouth is a sci-fi and fantasy event, I need to swap all my books over and make sure I have all the right bookmarks and promo material.

Take care, my friends, I will let you know how things go next time we chat.

Regards

Julia Blake

How Honest Are You?

Hello everyone. Today I want to ask what you think about morals and doing the right thing. And now, I haven’t been born again, I’m just curious. Yesterday, I needed a couple of things from the shop so walked up my road and into the car park at the top — Waitrose is only a hop, skip, and jump from my house so it’s my go-to place if I only need a few items. Anyway, a neighbour was walking in the same direction, and we were exchanging small talk when we saw a car reverse at speed out of a space that wasn’t a car parking space and ram into a car parked in a disabled space opposite.

Shocked, we expected him to stop. But it quickly became apparent that the driver had no intention of stopping. We shouted. Lots of other people crossing the car park shouted and waved him down. The car stopped, and the driver got out. All tattooed and angry-looking six-foot-plus of him. He swore at us that he had had every intention of stopping, so we hadn’t had to yell at him to do so. Hmm. Really? I think not.

He then stalked over to the car he had hit and looked at it. Declaring angrily that he hadn’t done any damage at all, so there was no point leaving a note, he turned to go back to his car. An equally tattooed and angry-looking woman also got out of the car and added her two-pence worth at the top of her voice. My neighbour and I looked at the car he’d hit. Several long scrapes were in the shiny new-looking paintwork. We pointed them out to him.

Whilst this was going on, I took out my phone and photographed the registration plate on Mr Shouty’s car.

Yelling that it was none of our business and that he would leave a note, he stalked back to his car, got in, revved up, and drove away at speed.

Okaaay, so that was him driving away from someone’s very nice new car that he’d just hit without leaving his details. Also, bear in mind, that the car was in a disabled space meaning that either the driver or the person they were driving was disabled.

Everyone who witnessed the incident congregated to discuss it in outraged tones. A piece of paper was found. I was the only one who had witnessed the whole thing (my neighbour had disappeared at this point) and had the presence of mind to take a photo of the car, so I wrote on the paper what had happened and left my number. It was raining heavily, so someone found a plastic bag from somewhere to put the note in. It was left under the windscreen wiper, and we all went our separate ways.

So far, the owner of the damaged car hasn’t called, so maybe the damage was only superficial, and they have decided not to pursue the matter.

I have been thinking about it ever since. That man knew what he had done, but instead of owning up to the accident — after all, we all make mistakes — a lapse in concentration, a bit too much pressure on the pedal, it’s easy to see how it can happen and it could have happened to anyone. But, because he thought he could get away with it, he decided not to do the right thing and simply drove away.

Would I ever do that? No, I don’t think I would. For all my faults, and lord knows they are legion, I like to think at my core I am a person who will always try to do what is right. I think mostly because it is right, but also because I wouldn’t like it done to me. And I think that is what guides most of us. Would we like it done to us? No. Then don’t do it to someone else.

But I am aware there are some — like the nasty shouty driver yesterday — who seem incapable of imagining themselves in someone else’s shoes.

That leads me to ask the question — how do live with themselves? I try very hard not to behave in a way that will hurt someone else. Maybe I don’t always succeed. Blunt talk and having no filter runs in my family, and I am just as capable as the next person of saying something that unintentionally wounds. But I would never deliberately set out to hurt or upset someone. And if I thought I had caused injury, I would try to make amends.

So how can people like Mr Shouty yesterday justify their behaviour?

I imagine that poor car owner coming back and finding their lovely car all scratched up. It was a nice-looking vehicle. I am no expert on makes and models, but it was in pristine condition with shiny metallic cherry-red paintwork. I would have been very upset if it was my car.

There have been moments in the past when I have been tempted to try and get away with something I knew was wrong. I went to the ATM outside a bank once and found £10 in the cash dispenser tray. Did I keep it? No, I handed it into the bank knowing that they would be able to look at their records and see who had used the machine before me and credit it back to their account. Another time, I found a £20 note blowing about the car park. Did I keep it? Yes, because honestly, there was no way of finding out who had dropped it. Even if I had taken it to the police, it’s unlikely that the original owner would bother going all the way to the station to report a dropped bank note.

I have never stolen anything in my life. I just couldn’t. I am the kind of person who if I find something in my shopping that I know I forgot to scan in the shop so therefore didn’t pay for it, the next shopping trip I would scan and pay for it. Maybe I am too honest for my own good. And I’m not some kind of saint, I can lie to get out of doing something I don’t want to do, or tell a white lie to save someone’s feelings, or keep a secret. But out and out malicious lying simply to manipulate or hurt someone, no, I could never do that.

I firmly believe the default position for most people is honesty. I used to know a farmer’s wife who would put a table out on the roadside with jars of honey and homemade jam, cartons of eggs, and punnets of plums and apples. They were all clearly priced and she would leave an honesty box on the table. At the end of each day, she would go down and most of the time the money in the box exactly matched the value of the items taken. Oh, occasionally, she would be short by a few pennies — as if the person who took an item didn’t quite have enough change on them — but overall, it was spot on.

It was a sleepy county lane. There was never anyone manning the table. There were no cameras or anything to monitor the transactions. There was nothing to stop someone from helping themselves to whatever they wanted and not paying a penny. But that rarely happened. Why? Because the default position of most people is honesty. And in a world where terrible things can and do happen, that is quite reassuring.

As I told you last time, the lodger has gone much to my vast relief. She did have one last childish comeback and threatened again to take me to court, but she doesn’t have a leg to stand on and I have fully documented proof of the damage sustained to my property and how much it cost to replace the items. Even if she does pay the exorbitant costs of consulting a solicitor, they will tell her that there is no case to answer. I have now blocked her everywhere it is possible to block someone and hope never to hear from her again. I pray this is an end to a very unpleasant episode and that I can now move on.

As I said last time, I put the room up for rent at 9.30am on Saturday, and by 3pm that afternoon I had found someone I liked enormously and felt would be easy to live with. He is an older gentleman, and, in the interview, he came across as a very calm, agreeable, mild-mannered and, most of all, drama-free person. I am done with drama. No, I think someone who likes tea, books, and history sounds like the perfect fit. He has paid his deposit to secure the room and will be moving in next Wednesday.

What else have I been doing?

Well, not a lot to be honest. I worked most of last week. On my days off I went through the feedback from my proofreaders and polished my latest book until it shone. It is now with the cover designer, and I am anticipating putting it up for pre-order in the next week or so.

The name of the book is Hide & Seek. It is book six in the Blackwood Family Sage and will tell the story of young Liam Blackwood. A war photographer, he always knew his career was a risky one, but suddenly there is a gun pointing at his head and it’s clear that Liam has seen or photographed something that someone wants kept quiet.

It’s an exciting, rollercoaster of a read that will keep you on the edge of your seat. The eBook will be available for pre-order soon at a special pre-launch price, plus all the other books in the series will be on sale at special low prices.

In other news, not only have Franki and her partner been accepted at the University of Reading to do their Masters in Entomology, but they have also been successful in their application for a small apartment on the campus, which they are thrilled about. It’s not a massive flat, just a bedroom with a living/dining/kitchen area and a small bathroom, but it is their own space that they won’t be sharing with anyone. So, no more working around somebody else’s messy kitchen habits or dealing with piles of dirty plates that aren’t theirs. I am happy for them as I know it’s what they both wanted more than anything.

They will both be coming to stay for the Easter break, which I am looking forward to and then I won’t see them again until we move them out of their current university at the end of June, when we will bring all their belongings down south to go into storage here ready to be moved to their apartment at Reading University in September.

They are both living here for the whole of the summer break — three months in all — and are planning to get summer jobs so they can help me out with living expenses.

It looks like being a busy year for all of us. I am booked to do at least one live event a month, sometimes two or three. During March, I have the first Laxfield Community Market of the year tomorrow, then the Gt Yarmouth Sci-Fi and Fantasy Weekender Friday and Saturday the 15th and 16th, and then immediately after that, the Leiston Craft Market on Sunday the 17th of March. As I said, busy.

It will be the first time doing any of these events so it’s very much a “suck it and see situation”. I am a little nervous about tomorrow. Not about doing the actual event. I’ve done enough live events now to be very confident doing them. No, it’s the journey there by myself, finding the venue, and then managing to find a parking space. The organisers admitted in their email that parking can be “tricky” which hasn’t filled me with confidence. I am going to try to get there as early as possible to allow plenty of time to suss out the situation and nab a space.

At least I now have a special holder on my dashboard for my phone and know how to programme Google Maps to plan the route and tell me directions as I drive, so at least I won’t get lost. I spent this morning sorting and packing up everything and it’s all standing in the lounge ready to go in the car. Because the Gt Yarmouth event two weeks later is Sci-Fi and Fantasy only and I couldn’t afford to buy too many new books, I have decided to only take my contemporary books tomorrow. So, that means The Book of Eve, The Perennials Trilogy, The Blackwood Family Saga, and Eclairs for Tea and other stories. My pitch is six feet wide, and I will have the whole table to myself, which I am not used to. Usually, I am sharing with another author so only have three feet to display all my books in. I am taking a jug of artificial flowers to brighten my stall, plus a laminated page for each of the books with images and a brief synopsis. Normally, I don’t have the space to display them so it will be nice to have the room for a change.

Hopefully, the market will be a success. It’s about an hour’s drive and the market only lasts from 9.30 to 12.00 so it’s a gamble on whether I sell enough books to cover my costs and make it worth doing in the future.

As I said, it’s all about trying new events this year to see what works and what doesn’t. If it is successful, then I am booked to do another five markets at Laxfield during the year, so, fingers crossed.

Last time I told you about my fall which resulted in a nasty bruised face and a black eye, The bruising over the head spread quite considerably until the whole eye socket and top of my cheekbone was a rather fetching shade of purple and magenta. It is fading now, but there is still a nasty dark purple bruise under my eye which I am hoping will go away. Even though I cover it with make-up it still shines through.

It’s getting late and I’m hungry. There is steak for dinner, with crunchy herby potatoes, onion rings, and peas, and I may put a fried egg on top of my steak for no other reason than I want to.

Take care everyone. I’ll let you know next time how the new lodger is settling in and how Laxfield Market went.

All the best.

Julia Blake

Life’s Knocks

Hello there. It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster two weeks. Firstly, I am happy to say that the lodger has gone. It was a very unpleasant leaving. Some of my property was damaged beyond repair so I had to retain part of the deposit to replace the items. She was not happy. The text messages from her were frankly disgusting. They were offensive, threatening, and harassing. I did not respond to most of them but have them on my phone if I need to go to the police about her. I think the situation has been sorted but who knows?

Anyway, onwards, and upwards.

The room has been thoroughly cleaned and put back to viewing standards. It is such a nice room and I find it very distressing when lodgers don’t take care of it. As you can see from the photos below it is spacious, clean, and tastefully furnished. There is a working area, an armchair and a space to put a TV. Two sets of bedding and towels come with the room. There is a new mattress on the bed that has never been slept in.

The ad went up this morning and I have three people already coming to view the room this afternoon. I anticipate many more. I looked at how many people had registered needing a room in this area. There were 68 — and this does not count all the people looking on the site but not making a profile for themselves. I then looked at how many rooms like mine were available. There were three. It’s a landlord’s market it seems, and I will take my time carefully choosing this time.

It will be nice to get the whole situation sorted as soon as possible, especially as I am working overtime next week. The practice is not usually open on a Wednesday or a Saturday, but due to circumstances beyond our control, we had to move a day and a half worth of appointments so must open Wednesday and Saturday morning as a one-off to move the appointments to. I don’t mind, it’s only this once and the extra money will be handy at the end of the month.

I am also happy to report that I finished writing book sixteen. Coming in at 53,889 words it is book six in the Blackwood Family Saga. It took me exactly a month to write, format, and edit it. It then went to my formatter and proofreader to go through and fiddled with a couple of bits of formatting I couldn’t do myself. Her feedback is in. She loves it and couldn’t find anything wrong with it so the next step will be sending it to my beta readers to go through. The cover is being made and I’m looking at a launch date sometime in March. It’s been a year since my last book was published so I need to get another one out there.

In the meantime, I am booking more live events. My first one is at Laxfield Market on the 2nd of March. If you’re in the area, why not come and say hello?

Speaking of events, my mum called me a couple of weeks ago and I asked if I would like to do a tabletop sale with her in her local village hall. She had a few things to try and sell but didn’t want to do it alone.

You can bring your books to sell on your half of the stall.

Yes, but I won’t sell any.

You might.

No, I won’t. It’ll be like that sale we did in Risby last Christmas. Full of grim-faced old people in dreary clothing, who looked at me as if I was speaking gibberish when I asked what they liked to read. Snapped I don’t read at me, then stomped off.

But it was only £2.50 for my share of the stall, and I could tell Mum wanted to do it, so I agreed.

I was late setting off due to misreading Mum’s text, but we were still able to park right outside the hall and it didn’t take us long to set up. Mum was right, she didn’t have much, and I’m so used to setting up a stall by now that I can do it in my sleep.

All around us were tables of other people’s tut. Big heaps of clothing, old pictures, knickknacks, books, glassware, you name it. The sale started at 10 and we were packing up by 11.30. Much to my surprise, I’d sold nine books in an hour. I was not expecting that. I think it’s because, in a sea of second-hand and used items, I was offering something brand new and shiny. I gift-wrapped a couple of books — one as a Valentine’s Day gift and one for a birthday. I was born in this village. People know me and they know my parents, so I think a couple bought to support me, which was lovely.

I took Mum home and had a quick coffee with my parents, then drove home and unloaded. I had offered to help set up the Love Your Local Author sale so barely had time to scoff down an apple and rush across to the hall where it was being held.

I heaved tables about, set up chairs, made helpful suggestions about layout and who should go where, did a bit of handholding, and then went for a brisk walk about town putting up posters and making sure all the promo was in the right locations. I walked home and found the lodger had moved most of her stuff out and had texted that she wasn’t coming back that night but would pop in Sunday to finish the cleaning. I went down to the room, thinking as it was such a nice afternoon, I’d open the window to start airing the room. I noticed all the dirty bedding and decided to put a load in to help speed up the process. And that’s when I discovered the damaged mattress and all hell let loose.

I won’t talk about it. It was horrible, as I have said.

Sunday, I cleaned the room myself. It needed taking apart, scrubbing, and putting back together again. I also gave the kitchen and bathroom a deep clean. I had offered to go and help clear away after the sale so wandered down at four. Helped finish packing up and assisted my friend back home with her trolley of books, collecting posters on the way.

We then went for a celebratory drink at the pub. After the weekend I’d had I felt I needed it. A drink turned into a takeaway back at theirs and it was there that my accident happened. We were sitting at the table outside, I stood up, my ankle collapsed underneath me, and I hit the patio. I went down like a ton of bricks. I landed on my head. Hard. The sound my skull made as it connected with the solid brick ground is something I will never forget. I lay there, stunned, convinced I had cracked my skull like a boiled egg. My friends helped me up. Weirdly, it didn’t hurt. My temple and brow bone were swollen and tender to the touch, but I thought I was fine. I finished dinner and then went home. I was cold and tired and sore, so I went straight to bed.

Monday morning, I awoke to a world of pain. My face was sore and very tender. I ached all over. My knuckle was bruised as was my shoulder, elbow, knee, and ankle. I dragged my sorry bag of bones out of bed and looked in the mirror. There was a massive bruise on my temple, my eyebrow was puffy and grazed, and a beautiful black eye beamed back at me from the mirror.

Now, a lot of people have told me that I should have gone to the hospital when it happened and maybe they’re right, I should have, but I thought I was okay Sunday evening and then I had to go to work on Monday and Tuesday. My word, they were two long days. I put on thick makeup and fixed my hair, so it fell over my eye. By the time I walked home on Tuesday, I was wobbly and exhausted, but I still had to get in the car and drive to the doctor to collect my prescription and then to the supermarket to collect my shopping. It was the last thing I felt like doing. But I needed food, so I did it and it was okay. I was home by 6.30 and at least it was done.

On Wednesday morning I ironed all the bedding belonging to the room which had been freshly laundered. I had a friend coming for lunch which I was looking forward to. We hadn’t seen each other since before Christmas as they had gone down with Covid so couldn’t come to our New Year party. We had settled on the 14th of February as it was the first date, we were both free, then realised it was Valentine’s Day so decided to eat at mine instead of going out. Did not want to be sitting in a restaurant on Valentine’s Day. Someone might think we were a couple and try to sell us a rose. I had a pack of very posh Italian meatballs in a tomato and basil sauce in the freezer so had got those out. I’d bought a nice mixed salad and found a recipe for Italian potatoes roasted in breadcrumbs and parmesan that looked fabulous. We are all about the potatoes, my friend and I, so I knew she would appreciate them more than pasta.

Anyway, she arrived, we opened the prosecco and caught up on all the news. The potatoes were in the oven and smelled amazing. I went to slide the meatballs in and found a tray of black and charred lumps that had been a whole bag of potatoes. I had followed the recipe exactly. Were they salvageable? No, they weren’t. They were only fit to carbon-date rather than eat. I rummaged in the cupboard and found a pack of rigatoni pasta to cook instead, and lunch was delicious. My friend had bought a gorgeous passionfruit tiramisu for dessert.

On Friday I had the lock changed … I am not going to say any more about that. Friends called round to do it and then we sat in the garden for a couple of hours drinking wine and coffee and chatting. It was a lovely Spring-like day. After they’d gone, I decided to treat myself to fish and chips for dinner.

And now it’s Saturday. I put up the ad for the room this morning and so far, have had a lot of responses. Two people have already been to view the room, one of which I liked very much, and there are more viewings lined up for this afternoon and over the next few days.

I am heartened by how good the response has been so far. I don’t think it will take very long to find another lodger.

It’s a short blog this time. There is so much I could say, but it’s probably best I don’t. This whole experience has left me sick to the stomach and shocked at how badly people can behave. I want it to be over. I’m tired of it now. Tired of being made to feel like the villain when I have done absolutely nothing wrong. Tired that the irresponsible actions of one person are being twisted to make her claim to be the victim. Oh well, onwards and upwards.

Hopefully, next time we talk I will be in a better place emotionally. Right now, I’m feeling a bit vulnerable and emotionally drained — not to mention looking like I’ve taken up cage fighting as a hobby.

Take care of yourselves.

Julia Blake

February Blues

Well, it’s February. And we’re back on the rollercoaster of another year. How is it going so far for you? January did that weird time slip thing in that the month itself went by like a gazelle on speed, but Christmas feels like a hundred years ago. Did you make any New Year’s resolutions? If you did, have you broken them yet? I made a few.

Continue with the diet: Well, I didn’t gain weight over Christmas, which is a win. I did plateau for four weeks, which was discouraging. I kept at it though and was pleased to get on the scales this morning to find I lost 3lbs last week. I’ve lost a total of 21lbs since mid-September. This is a lot slower than the last time I did this diet, but that was 12 years ago. I was running about after an eight-year-old. I was walking her to school and then walking all the way to work and back again. We were out for walks and running about all the time. I was more active. Plus, I was younger and not menopausal and didn’t have an underactive thyroid gland. It is going to be a lot harder to shift it now. But I’m determined and every pound I shed makes me even more determined to keep going. It’s getting easier as well. The more I diet, the less hungry I am and the less tempted I am to eat bad things on a diet day.

Write more: I am one chapter away from completing book sixteen. Every day off I have tried to sit down and write at least one chapter. Yes, I could probably have pushed myself to write more each day, but another resolution was to be kinder to myself, to learn to rest and not feel guilty about it.

Be more sensible with money and savings: I bought one of those sealed ceramic money jars from Amazon for £5. There is a slot at the top to put money in, but you can’t get it out unless you smash the pot to pieces. I plan to put £50 at the end of every month into the jar. By the time I smash it in December, there will be £550 in the jar which will pay for a large chunk of Christmas, if not all of it. I think I’ll be able to stick to this resolution. After all, £50 a month is not much. If I take it from the bank each payday and put it in the jar, then it’s done and inaccessible to me.

Do more live book events: So far, I have booked ten fairs and comic cons this year, with more in the pipeline. The only downside is having to pay for all the pitch fees so close to Christmas. Perhaps I should take the pitch fee back out of the money I make at each event this year, and then put it in my sealed piggy bank ready to pay for the 2025 pitch fees. That could work.

Scale back Christmas and be more sensible about it: Next Christmas, I will only send cards to people who sent me cards this Christmas. I have saved every card I received and will use them next Christmas when I write out my cards. I keep sending cards to people who stopped sending me cards in return years ago. They don’t give a hoot about me, so why should I spend money on buying and posting them a card? Especially if it’s going abroad. What with the ruinous cost of postage it’s an expense I can do without. I will also try to be more sensible about food and only buy as and when we need it. I was eating cheese and biscuits for the whole of January because I’d bought too much.

Okay, so, what has happened in the fortnight since we last chatted? Not a lot. I assisted at my first toenail surgery last week. Which was disappointing for its lack of blood, gore, and screaming. I was what is called a dirty nurse. Go on. Get all the sniggering and comments out of the way. I’ll wait. What a bunch of twelve-year-olds you are.

I am doing three days of overtime during February, which will be a big help money-wise at the end of the month. I must buy a new resident permit for my car this month, and possibly one for the new lodger as well, so the overtime will pay for them.

What is the lodger situation, I hear you ask. Well, she’s still here. She only has eight more days before she must be out. So far, I haven’t seen or heard any evidence of her packing up the mountains of stuff she has. It is a shame that the relationship between us has deteriorated to the point it has. I honestly don’t know what to say about it. I was not the one who changed. I am still the same person I was when she moved in. The rules about living here didn’t change either. They are as they were before she moved in. Rules she agreed to. Give the bathroom and kitchen a quick clean every other week, and don’t come home so drunk that you wake me up. Not unreasonable rules, I think, but it’s immaterial whether they are unreasonable or not. They are the rules. They were explained to her when she came to view the room before she signed the contract or paid the rent. To suddenly decide eight months down the line that you no longer agree with them is, quite frankly, tough.

I think one of my biggest issues is that she won’t communicate with me like an adult, but instead will only talk to me via text. Now, text is all well and good for dashing off a quick message to someone, but to use it to conduct important, grown-up conversations is not on. Without facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice, it is easy for miscommunication to occur. I don’t care how many emojis you use, intent is lost in translation. It’s also so childish. I am 56, she’s 47. To insist on corresponding only by text … well, it feels like we’re a pair of 14-year-olds having a disagreement via our phones in double lesson maths. It’s immature and achieves nothing.

The texts I have received from her have been very unpleasant. Accusing me of everything under the sun, she has crossed so many lines that even if she were to beg me to let her stay, the answer would be no. I do not wish to have this woman in my home a second longer than necessary.

It’s not the biggest house in the world, yet we are managing to avoid each other, and I haven’t seen her since December. Try to imagine that. Being forced to creep about your own home because somebody is living in it who hates you. Who sends you insulting and slanderous texts whilst you are in the next room. She informed me that my cooking myself a quick evening meal each day is inconvenient for her and forces her to eat ready meals. Honey, you moved in with a bag full of ready meals so please don’t try to blame me for your poor eating habits. Besides, this is my house. I am allowed to cook myself dinner. Most evenings she is not even here when I’m making dinner. Besides, I’m not exactly cooking a five-course banquet each evening. I’m cooking for one person, so it doesn’t take long. I tidy up after myself. Every other evening I’m only warming through a bowl of soup. I’m not hogging the kitchen for long and there is plenty of space for two people to cook in there. Most evenings, I have finished my meal and cleared away long before she gets back from wherever she’s been. The kitchen then stands empty until later when I hear her piercing the film on a ready meal.

She repeatedly tells me to “get a life” — when I say tells me, of course I mean, she texts me. Sometimes randomly, with no context, I will receive a text from her ordering me to “get a life”! For a start, I do have a life. A mostly very nice life. Yes, because I have a mortgage and bills to pay and don’t exactly earn a lot, I can’t afford to go out every single night on the drink or eat out. But, do you know what, at 56, I don’t want to. I did all that back when I was young and didn’t have the financial commitments I now have.

She tells me it’s not normal for someone my age to stay home most evenings. Well, all my friends who are the same age as me, and the ones who are quite a bit younger, mostly stay home because they all have mortgages and bills to pay, and kids to support or help put through university. Also, we don’t want to be out every night. Not when we have lovely, warm, comfortable homes to be in.

I think instead of throwing stones at me she needs to examine her own life. To be renting a room in someone else’s house at 47 is not the life I would choose or boast about. But that is her choice. And good luck to her, if that is what she wants, but how dare she judge my life choices when they are none of her business. I honestly believe she thinks on my days off I simply sit in the house and stare at the wall. I cannot imagine how she thinks fifteen books were written and published. It all takes a lot of time. Days, weeks, months, of sitting at the computer wringing my brain out and writing.

She is now obsessed with who gave who notice first when it honestly doesn’t matter. Franki has been on at me since the summer to get rid of her. For various reasons I won’t go into here, my daughter is possibly a better judge of character than me and warned me that this woman was bad news. I think something was said or something happened between them that caused Franki to give this warning. But I am soft-hearted and chose not to listen. By December though, I had had enough. The drunken late nights and the ensuing hostile texting were becoming more common. The rental period runs from the 12th of each month, and I wanted to give her a month’s notice on the 12th of December.

What stopped me? My stupid soft heart again. I simply could not give someone a month’s notice two weeks before Christmas. It seemed very unkind and unfair, and I couldn’t do it. I decided to wait until the 12th of January when it would be easier for her to find somewhere else. It is true what they say though. No good deed goes unpunished. I wish I had given her notice then because she would be gone by now and I would not have suffered this past month of hell. Her behaviour over the festive period was appalling and her attempts to ruin both my Christmas and New Year with my family were unfair. Still, I held my nerve and planned to give her formal notice on the 12th of January.

She sent various texts saying she was looking for elsewhere but expected to carry on living in my home until it suited her to leave. Oh, and forget her doing any more cleaning. That wasn’t going to happen. And indeed, she hasn’t. Since Christmas, I have done it all. She claims she doesn’t use the facilities but of course, she does. She baths, takes showers, uses the microwave, the fridge, the freezer, the sinks and the toilet. She empties the water dispenser in the fridge but never refills it. She uses the tumble dryer but never cleans out the fluff filter or empties the water reservoir. Instead, I must clean up after her. Is this fair? No, of course, it’s not. Is it worth making a fuss over? No, not when she is leaving so soon.

Things came to a head on the 11th of January. I had a carefully worded letter officially giving her notice already prepared ready to leave outside her door on the 12th. On the evening of the 11th, she texted me that she would be staying out all night and that she’d found somewhere else and would be moving out within the month. I replied that I had already prepared her official letter of notice and that I would leave it outside her door. Since then, I have received long hysterical rants calling me a liar and that SHE was the one who decided to leave BEFORE I gave her notice. It’s so ridiculous. It made no difference whether she had given me her notice or not. That letter was printed and ready to give to her. She was getting her notice on the 12th of January whether she’d found anywhere else or not. It was only because of Christmas that she was even still living in my home. Like I said, no good deed goes unpunished.

I’m sorry for writing rather a lot about the situation when I didn’t intend to say anything. And, for all I know, someone who knows her may read this and report back to her, or she may read it herself. But to be honest, I don’t care. I am heartily sick of the whole situation. I have done nothing wrong. I have been verbally attacked and harassed. I have been accused of some horrendous things. I have been made to feel unhappy and uncomfortable in my own home and have been forced to have someone living here who refuses to do their share of the cleaning. This is a situation I’ve never had to endure before. Every other lodger, and over eighteen years there have been a few, has been happy with the cleaning rota and has seen the sense of it. It means no arguing about whose turn it is and the kitchen and bathroom — the shared areas — stay clean and fresh. It’s not like I ask for much. Clean the sinks, and the surfaces, and sweep the floor. It takes twenty minutes max. It’s not a big ask.

Anyway. By the time we next chat she will be gone, and this can be relegated to the past never to be thought of again. Who knows, I might even have found a nice new lodger by then. I will keep you posted.

What else has happened? I’ve been out a couple of times with friends. On one occasion I just popped out to meet my author group at the local pub and have a swift half of fruit cider with them. Before I knew it, I was out out drinking wine. And then suddenly I was proper out out out having a Chinese meal with them. I wobbled home at ten a tiny bit the worse for wear and frozen to the core. Well, I had met them in the pub garden at one and been outside ever since. In January. We must be mad.

Last week, I attended an author talk at the local library, and then went for coffee and a cheese scone the size of my head at a nearby café. After that, we went for a bracing walk about town before I went home for dinner.

See, I do have a life and I do sometimes leave the house, lol.

And now it’s Saturday afternoon. It’s an eating day and I am looking forward to a dinner of homemade breaded chicken strips and chilli fries. With maybe some leftover Christmas gin and tonic to wash it down with — these leftovers I don’t mind finishing up.

Finally, if you are local to Bury St Edmunds and find yourself in town next weekend, there is a fabulous book sale happening in the Constitutional Club on Guildhall Street. Why not come along and treat yourself to a new book or even buy one as a Valentine’s gift for your loved one?

Take care of yourselves and I look forward to chatting next time.

Julia Blake

Almost No Blog

Okay, blog time. Yeah, well, the thing is I’m not feeling it this week. Not sure how much I’ll be able to write, because, honestly, I don’t have that much to tell you. Stuff has happened, of course, I mean I’ve breathed, eaten, gone to work, etc. but in terms of major life events, there’s not much to report. I’m over the kidney infection that plagued me at the beginning of the year, and I feel good health-wise. My new tumble dryer was delivered, although I had to plead and bribe the delivery guys to lift it into place. Whenever I’ve had to buy a new large appliance from Argos in the past, I’ve always chosen the recycle and install option. Yes, it costs an extra £50 BUT it meant the delivery guys took the old appliance away, unpacked the new one, installed it, checked it was working, and took all the packaging so, in my mind, it was worth it. And anyway, it’s not like I had much choice. Appliances are heavy and there was no way I could lift one — or even fit it — into the back of my little car or lift it out and chuck it into the skip at the recycling yard.

I went onto the Argos website and looked at all the tumble dryers within my price range. There were thirty listed but twenty-eight of them were out of stock. What the heck! Why bother listing them, Argos, and … here’s a mad suggestion … get more stock in. Finally, I found one that looked okay and put it in my basket. It could be delivered on Thursday the 4th of January, which was good.  I couldn’t find the recycle and install option to add. I searched all over the page, but nope, no sign of it.

Eventually, I went ahead and ordered because I know from experience that the only way to talk to Argos customer service is if you have already placed an order. It’s no good phoning the helpline number if you haven’t yet placed an order, because the first thing the automated switchboard will tell you to do is key in your order number. No order number, you are stuck and can’t progress any further.

I waited for someone to talk to me, listening to the awful elevator music and being told how important my call was to them. Is it? Is it really? Well, answer it then. I put my glasses on and pulled up the order confirmation email I’d been sent and then noticed that the delivery date wasn’t the 4th of January, but the 24th, nearly a month away. A month? I couldn’t go without a tumble dryer for the whole of January. How on earth was I supposed to get my clothes dry? When it’s freezing, pouring with rain, and dark and damp for most of the day there’s no point hanging washing out because it’s not going to dry. And for all those people shouting at me to put it on radiators, I only have one radiator that’s not behind one of those fancy cover things. It would take me over a day of constantly taking washing on and off to get a load dry. I would also have to leave the heating on all day. Now, I may not be good at maths but even I know that eight hours of gas-fired central heating is worse than an hour’s worth of electricity using the tumble dryer. Besides, it’s not a good idea to have wet washing drying on radiators. It puts dampness into the atmosphere which can cause mould, it’s bad for wallpaper and it’s very bad for electrical devices such as TVs etc.

I digress, there was no way I was prepared to wait until the 24th to get a new tumble dryer and when someone finally answered my call, I led with that. She agreed it was a very long time to wait this time of year. I then asked about the recycle and install option which appeared to be missing. She told me it wasn’t something Argos offered anymore. I asked what I was supposed to do with the old dryer. She had no answer to that — at least, not one she was prepared to say out loud.

She searched their range of tumble dryers and even she had to admit that there wasn’t a lot of choice, what with them all being out of stock. I asked why they were so low on stock, and she couldn’t answer that either. Finally, she gave a crow of triumph and directed me to a model I had missed. It was within my price range, could be delivered on Friday, and had a recycle option — why none of the others did was something neither of us could fathom out — after all, it’s not like it matters what model they’re delivering, surely, it’s the model they’re taking away that matters?

So, they would take my old appliance away, at least that was something. What about installing it? My tumble dryer sits on a shelf above the washing machine, and it would be impossible for me to lift it out, much less lift the new one in. That’s no longer something we do, she told me, but this once, I’ll put a note on the delivery and ask the team to do it.

Hmm. I wasn’t sure about this but didn’t have a lot of options. I placed the order and cancelled the order for the other dryer.

The day of delivery came. Your item will be delivered between 8am and 6pm. Will it? Oh, gee, thanks Argos. Best I stay home all day then and make sure I don’t linger long in the bathroom. In the morning, a text arrived saying it would be delivered between 11.14am and 1.29pm. Very specific. Couldn’t they just have said 11-1.30? They didn’t arrive until almost three, so …

Anyway, before they unloaded the new dryer off the van I asked if there was a “special note” on their delivery details.

No, should there be?

Umm, yes.

I told them to come and have a look at where the current dryer was and where the new one would have to go. Like I said, it’s on a shelf … in a cupboard … in a very narrow passageway. It’s … tricky.

They looked at it.

No, they said. We’re not allowed to install anymore. In fact, we can’t even lift the old one down.

But I’ve paid for recycling. It’s the reason why I chose this model because it came with recycling.

Doesn’t matter, we’re legally no longer allowed to lift things down. You were supposed to have it ready to take away.

I looked at the pair of them — burly, six feet tall, young, fit and strong.

They looked at me — five foot nothing, wimpy and middle-aged.

We all looked at the tumble dryer. Now, dryers are nowhere near as heavy as say a washing machine or an oven, but they still weigh a considerable amount, and it was obvious that there was no way in hell I’d be able to lift it down on my own.

Okay. I will have to refuse delivery then, I’m afraid.

Look, love, if we take the old one away and leave the new one in the middle of the floor, could your old man not lift it up there when he gets home?

I don’t have an old man, I’m all alone, I told them, trying to look all brave yet sad at the same time.

I saw them fight a war between their chivalry and company policy.

I sighed.

They sighed.

Right, the older one said — he was clearly the leader — we’ll do it, but for heaven’s sake don’t tell anyone and I don’t know what we’re going to do about the packaging. The vans are examined every evening when we get back to the depot and we’re not passing anywhere we can get rid of it.

Don’t worry about the packaging, leave it here. That I can get in the back of my Yaris and take to the skip.

They lifted the old one out, unwrapped the new one and pushed it into place, making sure the plug was in and on before they pushed it back. They checked it was working. They took the old one out to the van. It took all of three minutes and didn’t cause them to even break a sweat. I did slip them a tenner though to buy some coffee and sandwiches on the road. They didn’t want to take it, but I insisted because they had got me out of a spot, and they could have been completely “jobsworth” about it and refused to help me. If they’d not helped, I honestly don’t know what I would have done.

So that was that. Honestly, 2023 was not a good year for me, appliance and device-wise. New fridge/freezer, new tumble dryer, new printer, new battery in my car, new computer — speaking of which, my new computer is a dream to use. It is so wonderful to not have to wait twenty minutes for it to switch on and trust it to save when it says it has. I have been writing a lot and am now up to over 25,000 words. As the Blackwood books are only 50,000 words or so long, that means I’m halfway through writing the book. I’m not doing any overtime in January and don’t have anything else going on, so I’m confident of finishing the book by the end of the month, if not sooner.

It’s wonderful to be writing again. Every time I have a break of any length, when I go back to it, I have forgotten how much I love it. I am massively grateful to my lovely child for buying such a thoughtful gift.

Speaking of my child, I have wonderful news. She has been offered a place at Reading University next year. She is beyond excited because it’s the university she was desperate to attend and to be offered a place is very exciting. It is a conditional offer, of course, she must pass her exam and get a merit which is a 2:1 or above, but she is on track to achieve at least that, so that should not be a problem. Reading is a fabulous university and is a lot closer to home. Instead of an eight-hour train journey, it’s only two, and instead of being almost four hours away by car, it’s only two. I’m thrilled for her, but not surprised. I knew she would be offered a place, even if she had doubts. Everything Franki has set her heart on she has achieved through sheer hard work and commitment.

I will see her again at Easter, which isn’t that far away, and then she will be coming home for the summer at the end of June. I think the plan is to try and get a part-time job for the holiday to help boost her savings. A new Primark store is opening at the top of our job so there may be summer vacancies there, which will be very handy. It’s only a two-minute walk away so her wages won’t be going on bus fares and nor will I have to ferry her around in the car.

In other news, my current lodger and I have come to a parting of the ways. I don’t want to say too much, other than after a very promising start it’s all gone rather horrible, and I no longer want this woman in my home. She no longer wants to live here either — apparently, I have too many rules! Yeah, once a fortnight give the bathroom and kitchen a quick clean, and don’t come home so drunk you wake the entire household up. Right, such draconian rules, must be like living in a communist state. So, that’s that. I will be looking for a new lodger soon and will hopefully find someone lovely to share my home with.

What else is there to tell you? Not a lot. Work is going well, and I still love it. After December when I worked practically every day, January is a lot easier going as I’m not doing any overtime. At least, I didn’t think I was. Thursday was a day off as usual, and I had a haircut booked for ten o’clock. After going three years with my hair not growing at all, since I’ve started taking medication for my underactive thyroid gland it’s started growing again. It needed cutting even though it’s only been eight weeks since it was last done.

Normally, even on my days off, I am up, showered, dressed, and drinking a cup of tea by eight at the latest. I just can’t lay in bed anymore. I get cold and bored and then my back starts hurting, and my bladder is insistent and once I’m up, well, I might as well stay up. But, on Thursday when I woke up at six, I thought, no, go to the loo and then go back to bed and try to get some more sleep. I did and was quite surprised not to wake up again until eight. I stumbled downstairs and made a cup of tea. There was no point washing my hair because it would be washed again at ten by the hairdresser. So, I sat there, blissfully chilled out, drinking my tea in my PJs and thinking about the day to come.

At 8:40 my phone rang. It was my boss. In a panic. The lady I job-share with couldn’t come in so could I cover her shift and go to work? ASAP. Please!!! I was there by a few minutes past nine. It’s amazing how fast I can hustle when I need to. My hair was a haystack, but I put some mousse in it and managed to tame the worst of the frizz.

And what about my haircut? Well, I texted my hairdresser as I was walking to work and explained the situation. She was okay and offered me another appointment for next Wednesday. At least as my workplace is shut that day, I know I’ll be able to make it. I think in future I will book all my appointments for Wednesdays, just in case.

And that is it, for now, that’s all my news. I didn’t think this would be a very long blog but ho hum, look at that — 2400 words. It’s Saturday evening and I have a spaghetti bolognaise for dinner which I have already made and just needs heating through. Below me I can hear the lodger’s TV blasting out — so loud I don’t know if I’ll be able to hear my own — but there’s no point asking her to turn it down. I’m afraid she left “reasonable behaviour” behind several weeks ago.

Take care, my friends, and I hope the new year is so far treating you well.

Julia Blake

That Was The Year, That Was

Hello everyone. Welcome to 2024. How has the new year been treating you so far? Me? Not so well. I began 2024 with a kidney infection, my tumble dryer was condemned, and there is another ongoing matter that I can’t discuss yet. But there’s nothing that can’t be fixed. By the time you read this my new tumble dryer has been delivered — thank heavens for store cards with twelve-month interest-free credit options — and a hefty dose of antibiotics has cleared up the infection. As for the other matter, only time will sort that out.

Anyway, how was Christmas for you? Exhausting, expensive, and over in a flash? Yep, same for me. It was lovely having Franki and Rys home and it was even more wonderful not having to work whilst they were here. We had some lazy days of chilling out together which were great. We went to the pantomime which was fun, visited friends and family, had a little party on the 30th of December, and had my parents over for a quiet Christmas day.

Big news! I got a new computer for Christmas! Was so not expecting that. My incredible child and her partner saved her wages for months and bought me a fabulous fancy pants new computer which they set up for me on Boxing Day. As I may have mentioned, my old laptop was on its last legs. Slow, unreliable, and with a liking for the blue spinning doughnut of death, it was so unusable that I haven’t been able to even think about writing another book on it. At least that was my excuse. After they had safely returned to university on Tuesday, I spent Wednesday packing away Christmas and cleaning the house, and then on Thursday I sat down and began to write book six of the Blackwood Family Saga. So far, I’ve written 10,000 words which is incredible. It feels so good to be writing again after all these months.

So, looking back on 2023 what kind of a year has it been? Changeable, I think is a very good word for it. So many things have happened, my life has completely altered course and I barely know where to start, so I’ll begin at the beginning — January 2023 — with a look back at the good, the bad, and the downright ugly events of last year.

January saw me still working for the major bed retailer where I had been for over six years. I remember standing in the empty shop on Boxing Day, looking at the peed-off faces of my colleagues who’d all been forced to give up being with their families to come to work for minimum wages. I remember vividly thinking — I will not be here next year. I don’t care what I must do, I will not be here next year.

In January I had a five-day visit from Franki and three of her friends. They were using me as a base to visit two zoos and a sea life centre nearby. Duly I made up beds and it was lovely to have the house full of young people. I had to go for lots of blood tests as diabetes runs in my family, so they were checking for that. They also wanted to see how my anaemia was progressing and generally gave me an over 50 Well-Woman check-up. I also started writing my new book, Mage Quest, the sequel to Erinsmore and was enjoying being immersed in writing.

February the results from all the blood tests were back. There was good news and bad. The good news was my anaemia was gone, my levels were fine everywhere else, and I did not have any signs of diabetes. Good. But I had an underactive thyroid gland which explained so much. The fatigue and trouble sleeping, the inexplicable weight gain, hair loss, weird stomach pains, aching joints, and so many other things I had attributed to my age, stress, etc. Nope, they were all the result of my thyroid not producing enough of whatever it is it produces. They placed me on medication which I will be on for the rest of my life.

I had a week’s annual leave in February and used it as an “at-home” writing retreat, during which I did nothing but write achieving a whopping 42,000 words on Mage Quest. It was great, but being at home made me understand how much I disliked my job. I was beginning to realise this was a major issue in my life.

In March we had the first Makers Market of the year. This was the artisan and craft market held once a month in a lovely coffee shop and venue in the town centre. These events were great for us authors. The pitch fees were low so despite only selling £50 or so each time I always made a little bit of profit. I could walk to the event, and it was wonderful chatting with local people and selling my books. Little did we know that this would be the last such market because the coffee shop would be forced to close due to rising energy prices and increased local business rates. It was such a shame and a real blow for my writing group.

Work went from bad to worse. Retail was a terrible industry to be in with the cost-of-living crisis biting hard. Long days without a single customer led to a drop in sales and therefore a drop in commission. Yet our targets were raised, and pressure was applied to make us perform. I was growing increasingly unhappy there and knew I needed to make good on my Boxing Day promise to myself.

April brought the shocking news of my boss’s resignation. To say I was speechless would be an understatement. In that instant, sitting there as he told me was leaving soon a little voice inside my head said — so am I. In that environment of toxic masculinity, he was the only voice of reason and stood between me and my male colleagues, very often sticking up for me. With him gone working there would no longer be possible. I knew that. Something had to be done. So, I brushed up my CV and started looking on Indeed for another job.

I went down with a rather nasty tooth infection this month and had to take massive doses of antibiotics to bring the infection down. The tooth must come out, the dentist told me. Gulp, umm, okay. I also attended the Indie Authors Book Fair at the end of April, and it was a howling success. I sold a lot of books and met a lot of lovely people. I’ve already signed up to do it again next year.

In May, I finally published Mage Quest and launch day was reasonably successful and the book has received lovely reviews since then. I had planned to release at least two books during 2023 but life and my aged laptop had other ideas and Mage Quest was the only book I wrote during the year. As you know, I was job hunting and had several interviews, but nothing was quite right. I was so desperate to leave my current employment that I was prepared to accept almost anything else. Finally, I was offered a part-time job at a tile retailer. There would be a lot less pressure and the all-girl team seemed lovely. The manager promised me weekends off whenever I needed them so long as I gave enough warning and it all looked good, but I would be taking a drop in pay, quite a big drop in pay. Regretfully I turned the job down. The numbers simply didn’t stack up.

Fate has a funny way of working out though. Thinking and thinking about it, I ran the numbers again of what I could realistically make if I let out the basement room through Airbnb. Allowing for non-occupancy and only being able to let the room at the most three days a week and adding in things like constant cleaning, bed changing, and laundry, I would be earning less than if I simply took in another lodger. I searched Spare Room for anyone looking for a room in my town. I found three women who seemed to fit the bill so messaged them. One responded, came to view the room, liked it, and planned to move in the following week. I went into the tile shop, accepted the job, and once I’d received my formal offer of employment handed my notice in at the bed store. The relief was unbelievable.

At the end of May and the beginning of June, Franki came to stay for a lovely surprise visit. It was wonderful to see her, especially as I had two weeks off between finishing at the bed store and beginning my new job. The weather was gorgeous, and we decided to invite everyone around for a barbecue. It was a lovely event, although an expensive and exhausting one. Barbecues are such hard work. Much more hard work than a buffet or even a dinner party. The work is so ongoing. I didn’t sit down for the first hour because I was constantly on the go ferrying out meat, and sorting drinks and food out, it was non-stop. Whilst Franki was home we also had a good clear out of old books, toys, and other stuff, taking a carload to the skip, donating some to charity, and doing a couple of car boot sales.

My toothache came back, and I had to bite the bullet and book an appointment for it to be extracted. Not fun. A whole lot of not fun. But it healed okay and at least it won’t get infected again. I started my new job at the tile retailer. At first, I thought it would be okay. My new colleagues were wonderful — fun and kind and laid back and not as toxic as my previous ones — but I soon realised that the work was going to be too physically demanding for me. Lugging 28kg bags of grout is no fun. Shifting great pallets of tiles about is also no fun. Doing it in 30+ degrees heat is miserable. I was coming home from work hot, sweaty, and exhausted. It also looked like there was going to be an issue with weekends. I had been promised weekends off whenever I needed them so long as I made up my hours during the week, this turned out not to be the case. I was going to have to work most weekends, and bank holidays. The only things my job change had brought about were nicer colleagues and a calmer working environment, no working Boxing Day, and a large drop in pay. Hmm.

For the rest of June and all of July, I was busy completely decorating both the spare bedrooms. The back one was to make a nice bedroom for Franki, and the middle room was to become a cosy single bedroom/sitting room/library. Because I was doing the work on days off and in between all my other chores, this was an ongoing job that took about six weeks to complete. July was also my birthday — and the wettest July since records began.

I had been thinking about looking for another job when Indeed sent me details of a part-time receptionist job in the town centre that looked perfect. I applied for it and to my delight, had a telephone interview, then went for a formal interview, followed by a trial run on the morning of my birthday. Delighted when they offered me the job, I handed in my notice at the tile store and had seventeen days off between jobs, which was great. I was not sorry to be leaving retail. It is hard and thankless. The idea of no more weekends, no more bank holidays, no more Boxing Day, a five-minute walk to work, coming home for lunch, being able to wear nice clothes, no sales targets, no rude customers, no pressure from head office to sell, made me dizzy with delight. At the end of the month, Franki and Rys arrived to spend the rest of the summer with me.

August was mostly a wet and gloomy month. I had two weeks of intensive training at my new job before being left to get on with it by myself. It was fine. I loved the job and like to think I’m very good at it. It was great having the girls home and being able to spend time with them. It was Franki’s 20th birthday. I can’t believe I have a twenty-year-old, where did that time go? When I began writing this blog, she was still fifteen.

My author’s life was not going so well. Apart from blogging, I had not written a word since the release of Mage Quest. There never seemed to be any time plus my old laptop made writing hard work.

At the beginning of the month, I attended the Legends Comic-Con at Stonham Barns. Despite the rain of almost biblical proportions, it was a great weekend, and I sold a lot of books. We had a major scare when our cat disappeared for three days. We worried she was lying under a bush dead somewhere and it was a huge relief when she reappeared thin, dusty, hungry, and thirsty. To avoid this happening again we fitted her with a GPS tracking device. Well, that didn’t go to plan. She lost it twice and the second time we couldn’t find it and then the batteries died on it, and it was lost forever. I still think she did it on purpose. My fridge/freezer died and there was a panic buying a new one and getting it delivered. Kind neighbours divided our frozen food between them so it wouldn’t spoil.

September came along. Longtime friends came to visit for five days which was wonderful. We spent a day in Cambridge visiting museums and another at a local stately home. We cooked big meals, went out for dinner, did a pub quiz, and drank lots of wine. The weather was glorious, so we ate almost every meal in the garden. All too soon though, summer was over, and I was driving the girls back to university for the new academic year. It’s surreal that it’s Franki’s last year. It feels like only yesterday I was driving a nervous eighteen-year-old up north for the first time. The last weekend in September it was Norwich Comic-Con again which was fantastic and even more successful than 2022.

October. Freakishly warm weather, which was lovely. The first-ever literary fringe festival took place in my town during the first weekend. It wasn’t as well attended as we’d all hoped, but it was a lot of fun, and I did sell a few books and met several wonderful authors. I continued to work hard and enjoy my new job. And my printer gave up the ghost entirely.

At the beginning of November, I drove my parents up north to attend Franki’s graduation. As it’s quite a distance, we booked an Airbnb cottage for three nights. I don’t think it stopped raining the whole time we were there, but the graduation was lovely. Although I didn’t manage to write anything new during November, I wasn’t completely idle. I reformatted and republished Eclairs for Tea and other stories with a gorgeous new cover and released it as a beautiful hardback edition containing two bonus stories. They proved to be very popular at the Stonham Barns Christmas Fair I did during the last weekend of November, and I sold every copy I took.

During November I had the unexpected expenses of a new battery for the car and a £155 vet bill for the cat, which I needed like a hole in the head. I also had to give in and buy a new printer. I did as much overtime as I could at work to try and replenish funds for Christmas which was creeping ever closer.

December rolled in. I don’t trust December; it does this weird time thing where it’s the first day of the month and there’s still plenty of time before Christmas and then suddenly it’s Christmas Eve. The girls were arriving on the 22nd of December so that acted as a cut-off point for me. Everything had to be ready by then. I tried to cut down on spending, I really did. I didn’t buy a real tree, instead used a little artificial one I had in the cupboard. I did not spend anywhere near as much as I would normally on presents. Yes, the girls got a lot of gifts but most of them were small and inexpensive things. I spoke to a couple of friends, and we agreed not to do gifts for each other this year. And I did try to cut down on food. But everything is expensive and seems to be twice the price at Christmas. I didn’t go overdrawn though, so at least there’s that.

And that brings us up to now. It’s the first weekend of the new year and so far, 2024 has not impressed me. I wonder if it’s too late to send it back and ask for a refund. Ending a year during which, I’ve changed jobs twice, taken on a lodger again, and had to replace my fridge/freezer, printer, computer, and tumble dryer, and have redecorated two rooms, it has felt like a very changeable year.

There have been a lot of ups and downs, my health has been a cause for concern although that seems to be under control now. I only published one book, which was disappointing, but I did find more local live events to attend and next year am planning to do as many as possible.

I think the most important thing though is that I am here, still fighting, still struggling on and yes, it has been a year that has tested me in many ways, but I came through. Am I better off than I was this time last year? Financially, probably not. In terms of being happy with my work, definitely. I am also richer timewise than I was at the end of 2022. My health issues have hopefully been resolved for now, and I have a new computer thanks to my generous and hardworking child. So, I am taking that as a win.

If you have made it to the end of this impressively long blog, then all that’s left is for me to say thank you to anyone who continues to read my ramblings and rants about the hot mess that is my life. For once, it would be lovely to know if there is anybody out there and I would be so grateful if you could simply drop me a message or even just comment with your name.

Happy New Year, my friends and I hope 2024 is a good one for us all.

Julia Blake

Merry Christmas!

It’s Christmas Eve. Are you done with all your preparations? Well, ready or not, Christmas has done its usual trick of sneaking up on us when we weren’t looking. I swear it was the beginning of December just a blink ago and now there’s only one more sleep till Christmas.

Am I ready? Well, by the time you read this, yes, I will be. There is one last mini trip to Waitrose planned for today. We are walking to see my daughter’s other Grandad later this morning and on the way back we pass right by Waitrose. I need sprouts, a cauliflower, some grapes, and a few other bits and pieces, nothing major. There will be under ten items and they will all fit in a basket so we will be able to sneak through the express till. Oh, and I now have to buy a Christmas pudding. I don’t want to say too much because I know my parents read my blog, but Puddinggate kicked off Friday afternoon when I was at work and could have done without the extra stress and worry. All I will say is that you had one job. One job, Mum! How did you manage to feck it up so spectacularly? Do not expect me to give you any responsibilities next year, given how you managed to fail totally at the one I gave you this time. (Hands thrown in the air emoji inserted here).

This is not going to be a very long blog because I have been so incredibly busy, what with overtime and running around organising Christmas, shopping, cleaning, cooking, baking, wrapping, and all the other things that a woman does this time of year.

Work was intense. I was working every day last week and as I watched my boss spiral into a mad frenzy of dashing out shopping every lunchtime and staggering back with bags of food and presents, and listened to her talk of cooking until gone nine at night — and how her partner had this week off but was sitting home doing eff all — I couldn’t help but think the colleague I job-share with had the right idea. She’s buggered off to Mallorca for two weeks with friends, hence why I was working her shifts.

I am ready though. Franki and Rys arrived home last night after a long but uneventful train journey. Thank heavens the drivers decided not to strike yesterday. The house is festive and warm with lights twinkling on every surface. There are presents under the tree, and the fridge and freezer are so crammed with food and drink that it’s like a game of Jenga if you want to get something out. So, normal for Christmas then.

I am tired though, really really tired. Saturday morning was earmarked to rest and write my blog whilst the others wrapped their presents upstairs. I had planned to sleep as long as I could, but my neighbours had other ideas and had a conversation outside in the street under my bedroom window at 7.30am. Did you have to bellow at the tops of your voices? Really? At silly o’clock on the last Saturday before Christmas?

And then my bladder got involved, so eventually I got up at 8. Still, I guess it wasn’t 6.30 my usual time to get up and at least I could relax and have a leisurely cup of tea instead of charging off to work.

On Wednesday I did THE SHOP at Tesco. I was dreading it, and it was as awful as I thought it would be. Two hours of my life later that I will never get back and £173 poorer — How? How?! — I staggered home and tried to find homes for all the food and drink. Wheeling my big trolley and trying to persuade the janky front wheel to turn left, I looked at all the hatchet-faced women storming up and down the aisles — sometimes alone, or sometimes being trailed by miserable and confused men pushing overflowing trolleys — as the tannoy belted out jaunty Christmas tunes that reminded us how it was the most wonderful time of the year. Hmm, is it? Is it really?

I tried to stay upbeat as I worked my way through my list and tried to avoid my wayward trolley from mowing people down, and some of the things I overheard were very funny.

Quite frankly, you can give your sister-in-law a pile of horse shit for Christmas, and I won’t care!

Yes, there is a BIG difference between cranberry and Cumberland sauce, but I have neither the time nor the patience to give you a cookery lesson now, so just get the fecking one I told you to get!

Don’t start! We’ve been in here ten minutes and already you’re starting!

These were all things I overheard frazzled-looking women say to their male partners. Merry Christmas and goodwill to all men, not.

As my offspring and plus one were arriving Friday evening I had considered that the cut-off point. That, barring those few last-minute things that could not be bought any earlier — you were in Tesco on Friday morning, Mum, actually IN a shop that stocks dozens of different types of pudding that can all be microwaved, so why didn’t you pick one up then?! Nope, not going there. Deep breaths. Not going there. It’s fine. It’s all fine. Last weekend I spent ten hours wrapping presents, so am very glad I didn’t leave that until this weekend but instead earmarked a day to do it. It’s astonishing how long it takes, but I do take time with my gifts. I was using a fully recyclable paper that had the consistency of parcel paper but had a bronze gold sheen to it and was lovely to use. I ran out of ribbon early on but as there was no way in hell I was braving town on the last Saturday before the festive weekend, I rummaged in the drawer and found a ball of dark green garden string so used that. I made all my tags using last year’s cards, pinking shears, and a hole punch, and do you know, the presents look great. Very artisan and rustic and just simply pretty.

My favourite part of Christmas Day is watching people open presents. Especially if they are gifts that were not on their list but that I think will surprise and thrill them. I am quietly confident that I’ve hit the ball out of the park this year with my presents for Franki and Rys and I am buzzing with happy anticipation inside. Course, they may hate them and ask if I’ve kept the receipts, which will probably make me cry.

Time is ticking. I can hear the sounds of their lunch being assembled in the kitchen and know there is less than an hour before we need to leave, so I need to keep this chat brief. This year, for the first time in six years, I have time off over the Christmas period. I am beyond happy that I do not have to be at work by nine on Boxing Day morning. Instead, I have two glorious weeks off and have the whole period of Franki’s visit home with them plus five days alone after they have left. Quite frankly, I need this time off. I am exhausted from a year of change, work, and worry — and precious little writing.

There will be a longer blog next weekend when I will round up the events of 2023 and what this year has meant for me. In the meantime, I would like to wish everyone who celebrates Christmas a happy and peaceful festive season and for everyone else, stay safe and take care of yourself.

Merry Christmas with love from Julia

The C-Word!

I’m sorry, there’s nothing for it. At some point during this blog, I will be using the C-word. We’re almost halfway through December, the decorations are up, my bank account has been drained, and cheesy music is playing in every shop. Yep. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas. But more on the festive season later.

It’s been a strange two weeks, full of ups and downs and little wins. When we last spoke it was the eve of the Stonham Barns Christmas Fair and my car had thankfully been repaired in time. So, how did it go? Very very well is the answer. I packed up my car and set off early on Saturday morning. It was bitterly cold but bright sunshine was beaming down from clear blue skies. I was well layered up and our pitch was indoors, so I knew we were weatherproof. After a brief and uneventful journey, I arrived at the showground and parked in trader’s car park B. Opening my door, I found a pile of animal poop on the ground so gingerly stepped out around it and sank ankle-deep in wet cold bogland. It had rained so much that the ground was waterlogged. Squelching in ruined sneakers, I unloaded the car and looked at how far it had sunk into the ground. Deciding that start-of-the-day me needed to get a move on, I left it as a problem for end-of-the-day me to solve and slopped my stuff into the barn.

Our pitch was right by the double glass doors and my fellow author was already busy setting up her half of the table. I have done so many shows and fairs now that setting up doesn’t take me long. Because it was Christmas, we draped coloured lights and artificial holly sprigs over the stall to make it look nicely festive and waited to see how the day would progress.

At first it was slow going. The showground is large and as the barn was right at the very end and quite a way from the car park, it took a while for people to reach us. A lot of people grunted that they didn’t read to our bright enquiries and it was sad to hear how many are happy going through their lives never picking up a book at all. Still, by mid-morning business was reasonably brisk. Some people were lovely and chatted to us about books and what things they had read and enjoyed. Others were unnecessarily rude. One lady — and I use that term loosely — left us open-mouthed at her unpleasantness. Upon being asked if she was a reader, she replied “Yes, but not of those books” gesturing to our book babies arranged so beautifully upon the stall, and then stomped off. The guy collecting for charity opposite us pulled a face at her retreating back and flashed us a sympathetic grin.

It was a long, busy day, which thankfully ended at 4pm. As we were back the next day all we had to do was cover up our stall, gingerly reverse our cars out of the quagmire, and drive home. I was out for dinner that evening, so I quickly changed and freshened up my hair and make-up and my friend kindly popped around to collect me to save me a long walk there.

The next day it didn’t feel like quite such a good day. The sun which had blazed through the open glass doors on Saturday and kept us reasonably warm was gone and a chill, bitter blast of icy wind was freezing us to the spot. People were grumpy and even ruder than the day before. I mean, it was supposed to be a Christmas Fair — goodwill to man and all that malarky — so why are people always so miserable when Christmas shopping?

Still, things did pick up as the day wore on and we sold books. I had sold out of The Forest the day before so had to rearrange my stall to cover the space. I had almost sold out of Black Ice, Erinsmore and Mage Quest so decided to take the few remaining copies I had off the table and try to push my contemporary novels. For some reason, my fantasy books always sell well at live events, but I struggle to shift the Perennials Trilogy and the Blackwood Family Saga. Is it because people are reluctant to risk a series and prefer standalone books? Or is it just that most readers like fantasy? Or simply that the covers of my fantasy books stand out more? Whatever it is, once I have sold what stock I have remaining of my contemporary novels I will not be buying any more to sell at live events. If it is my fantasy books that people want, then that is what I will give them.

The new hardback versions of Eclairs for Tea did sell well though and I sold every copy I had except one. Most of them were bought by people as gifts for friends and family, and I was kept busy signing and gift-wrapping them. The hardback edition proved a lot more popular than the paperback so it will be interesting to see at the next Christmas event where I won’t have any of the hardback edition to compare it to, whether the paperback will come into its own. If you wish to buy a copy of the beautiful hardback as a Christmas present there is still time. Click on the link for Eclairs for Tea and other stories on the books page of this site and look for the book. Ignore the fact it’s still showing the old cover — I need the IT Department to show me how to change it — the link will still take you to the new listing.

It is strange though, Sunday felt like the worst day. People were less responsive and more bad-tempered, and in my mind, I imagined this would be reflected in my sales figures. However, when I looked I had sold almost the same amount on Sunday as I had on Saturday. It is a nice feeling though, to imagine people unwrapping my books on Christmas Day and hopefully being happy with them. Maybe they will read and love them. Maybe they will want to read more books by me and will check out my website.

One very nice thing occurred when a lady who had bought The Forest from me at the August Comic-Con, and who had found me at NorCon and bought Black Ice, came to the Fair specifically to see if I was there and to buy another signed book — this time The Book of Eve. Thank you, you have no idea how much this meant to me. See you at the next event hopefully.

Speaking of which, the next live event I’m doing — and the last one before Christmas — is the Festive Foreword book sale taking place tomorrow in Bury St Edmunds. I would say come along and say hello but, by the time you read this it will be Sunday, so you will either have come along or not.

I’ve had a few mishaps since we last spoke, all caused by wobbly ankles. I’ve always had dodgy joints and have lost count of the number of times my ankle has turned underneath me causing me to stumble or even fall. Heels are an absolute no-no and even in flats I still feel distinctly unsteady on my pins at times. Usually, I manage to walk a straight line, but sometimes my ankles cause me problems.

A few weeks ago, Mum messaged to say she and “the girls” were coming into town on the bus to do some shopping and have lunch. Bear in mind not one of “the girls” is under 75. Could they come and wait at mine in the warm at about 3.30ish for Dad to come and collect them? Now, on that day I was meeting a couple of friends for an early dinner at a local pub. One of my friends lives on the road leading to the village where Mum and her cronies live on the outskirts of town. I was going to collect her at 4.30 to save her the walk.

Is Dad getting the car out especially? I asked.

Yes, came the reply.

Look, I have to get the car out anyway, so why don’t I run you all home and then collect my friend on the way back in?

So long as you have time.

Yes, it will be fine.

The day arrived. I ran around in the morning doing all the things I had to do. The girls weren’t arriving until 3:30ish so I figured I had plenty of time. They arrived a little early. An hour and a half early to be exact.

We’ve done all our shopping and had lunch, and it’s getting cold and dark, I was told.

Okay, I’ll put the kettle on, I replied.

I boiled the kettle, made four cups of tea, put milk in a jug, and loaded the lot onto a small tray to take into the lounge. It was when I was half turning to close the door behind me that it happened. My ankle turned, the tray lurched, and I watched in slow motion as a whole cup of scalding hot, fresh from the kettle, not even any milk in it to cool it, tea tipped and drenched my side.

It hurt. A lot. The scalding liquid soaked straight through my sweater and the vest top underneath. Shrieking orders to get the kitchen paper and start mopping up, I legged it upstairs ripping off my clothes as I went. More concerned about the carpet than myself, I hastily pulled on more clothes and ran downstairs to aid with the cleaning operation.

Are you all right? They asked in concern.

I’m fine, I said, and at the time I was. No, it wasn’t until later that I realised it did hurt and when I checked, a handprint-shaped mark of raised welts and burn marks greeted me. It looked like I’d been grabbed by the devil. Distinct finger mark shapes where the burning liquid had stuck folds of clothing to my skin which were enough to get me burnt at the stake for being a witch in medieval times.

Three weeks later, the welts have subsided, and the vivid red burn marks have settled into a dull purple stain. Not sure if they will go away completely, or if that’s me branded for life.

First offence of my ankles.

Last week, the large official portrait of Franki garbed in graduation robes arrived in the post. A thing of beauty, I decided it would hang on the family wall in the lounge. I took down another picture and leaned over the side table to hang it up. My ankle decided that was the moment that it was buggering off for lunch and completely went underneath me. I fell. Knocked the side table. Swatted the large red glass lamp standing there and it shattered into a dozen pieces.

I was more than upset. I’ve had that lamp for over fifteen years and it’s half of a pair that stands on either side of the sofa.

Can it be fixed with tape? Franki asked, on being told my sorry tale.

No, it’s smashed beyond all hope, I replied.

So that was strike two against my treacherous ankles. The third time was even worse.

As I’ve already told you, after being at Stonham Christmas Fair the whole day on Saturday, I had a quick turnaround and went to dinner at a friend’s house — the same friend who lives on the outskirts of town. She picked me up but after dinner, I walked back into town with the other guests who lived at various places along my route home.

I don’t know what to say. It was dark, and late, I had ever such a low chunky heel on my sturdy boots, I’d had a glass or two of wine and I was tired. I’d also been on my feet all day. Whatever the reason, my ankle failed spectacularly and I facepalmed the pavement. Laughing off the concerns of the others and insisting I was fine. I limped home gritting my teeth and went to bed. In the morning, I examined my war wounds. A grazed and ripped knee and shin from landing on a gravel bit of the path. A banged and grazed elbow and a large bruise on my forearm. A painful hand where I’d tried to break my fall and a massive dent in my pride.

And so, this is Christmas. How does it manage to sneak up on us every year? The first day of December seemed to flip a switch in people. Town was heaving that day, and every shop was belting out Christmas anthems. Crammed with hatchet-faced people intent on spending all their money, they clogged up the Christmas aisle in Poundland. Caught up in the moment, I went around with a basket and bought chocolates, sweets, and treats for stockings. Two days later I was begging Mum to take them home with her until closer to Christmas. I’d already eaten four of them and knew if left in the house there’d be nothing left for Christmas.

I have a complicated relationship with chocolate. I don’t want it normally. I don’t even like it all that much, and it sometimes gives me an upset stomach. But, if it’s in the house then I hear its siren call and cannot resist. I remember one year I bought a friend a box of gorgeous hand-dipped Belgium chocolates. Ate them. Bought another box. Wrapped them beautifully and attached a gift label. I tucked them away in a cupboard thinking out of sight, out of mind. Two days later I’d found them, unwrapped them, and eaten them. I waited until the day I was going to see her. Went to town especially and bought another box. I cannot be trusted.

Last year I bought the obligatory Terry’s Chocolate Oranges ready to go into stockings. If there isn’t a Terry’s chocolate orange is it even Christmas? I ate them thinking I’d replace them. Nope. Everywhere was sold out. It got closer and closer to Christmas. I began to panic. No Terry’s Chocolate Orange in the stocking would be catastrophic and would mean I had seriously failed in my parental duties. Finally, two days before Franki was due home I heard a rumour from a customer that WH Smith’s might have some left. The next day I legged it to town and was there for when the shop opened. The rumour was true. I replaced the scoffed chocolates, and all was well. I thought it had scared me sober, turns out I was wrong.

So, there is a big bag of chocolates and sweets sitting at Mum’s — including Terry’s chocolate oranges — for me to retrieve closer to Christmas and pray I don’t succumb before Franki gets home on the 22nd of December.

Am I ready for Christmas? That’s the question women ask each other this time of year. Bound in sisterly angst at the trials we face making Christmas magical for everyone but ourselves we seek solidarity. Do you know, I am convinced if left to men Christmas wouldn’t happen. Or it might be a day off and a pie and pint down the pub — although I sometimes think that might be the better idea.

When did Christmas get so expensive, so complicated, and such bloody hard work for women? Because — and I apologise to the 2% of the male population who actually do more than just stir their stumps to buy their partners a gift — it is incredibly hard work that mostly falls on the woman’s shoulders. Have we made a rod for our own backs? In seeking to create the perfect Christmas with the magic that we remember from our childhood do we stress too much and overcompensate? I think maybe we do. I once comforted a sobbing friend because she couldn’t get paper napkins the exact shade of green and red to match her table centrepiece for the Christmas dinner table.

It doesn’t matter, I said. No one will notice, no one will care.

I will notice, she cried. I will care!

And that’s the crux of it. Women care too much, and men don’t care enough. It’s a shame we can’t meet in the middle and end up with a Christmas that isn’t sheer bloody graft for one member of the family and is enjoyable for everyone. Any men reading this who are shifting uncomfortably thinking that yes, their sole contribution to Christmas is to just about manage to buy something for their partner so long as they are supplied with a detailed list with precise location, size, colour, price, and brand of whatever it is their partner wants  — or better yet, an Amazon wish list — or even better, just give their partner money and let them buy it themselves (totally missing the whole point of presents here guys. Thoughtfulness is key) — and to open the wine on Christmas Day and carve the turkey, then why not help out a little more this year?

Ask — and be forceful about it — for chores to do. Women love to play martyr and refuse any offers of help when inside they are screaming out for it. So, insist, or just take it upon yourself to help. Is the house covered in sparkles and bits from decorating the tree? Then get the vacuum out — without being begged — and use it. Does the dishwasher need unloading? Are there presents and cards to be delivered or collected? Would your partner love you forever if you took the kids out for the day? And most of all, think about what they would love for a gift and buy it for them. You have no idea how stunned and grateful women are when their other half actually bothers to think about them and goes to the effort of buying something special — without their hand being held throughout the whole process.

Anyway, rant over. Sorry guys, but you know it’s true.

Am I ready for Christmas? Just about. My cards are all written and posted — and that’s a rant for another day, the price of stamps. With a second-class stamp now costing 75p, I can see it being the end of posted cards. I would estimate that I’ve spent £50 this year on cards and that 80% of that cost is the price of posting them. Most of my presents have been bought, although I’m still waiting for a couple to be delivered. Sadly, one of Franki’s main presents won’t be here for Christmas and it’s doubtful it will even be here by the time they return to university. There is nothing I can do except cross my fingers and hope. It’s not like I haven’t bought a shedload of other stuff for them.

My decorations are up, and the house is looking beautifully festive. And then there’s my tree. Ah yes, the tree.

Several years ago, when I was still working for the accountant, we bought a narrow silver tree to have up in the office. Although 6ft tall it was pencil thin so fitted neatly into one corner. As the office colour was mostly blue, we bought a string of blue lights and some blue baubles to adorn it with and that was our office tree for many a Christmas. When my boss retired he told me to toss the tree into the skip, but my thrifty nature would not let me throw away a perfectly good tree, so I took it home instead. It packed away neatly into a tiny box, so I stuck it in the back of the wardrobe and forgot about it until a year later when I was working in the bed store.

Do we have a Christmas tree? I asked, as my first festive season there approached.

If you want one, you can buy it, came the reply.

Well, I wasn’t about to do that. Then I remembered the little silver tree in the wardrobe and took that in. Each year, for the six years I worked there, I would bring down this tree from the warehouse and set it up near the desks and decorate it. I didn’t care that everyone else was bah humbug, it was a festive touch.

When I handed my notice in I was told in no uncertain terms to take my tree with me. So, I did. And back into the wardrobe, it went. I had no intention of using it, I just couldn’t bring myself to throw it away. I had a vague idea of giving it to the lodger to use but I think their room is so cluttered that narrow though it is, there would be no space to put it.

Since my very first Christmas after leaving home in 1988, I have had a real tree. I love real trees. I love the sight of them, the smell of them, and the whole concept of them. I live in a Victorian house, so it seemed almost rude not to have a real tree. However, this year I am the most broke I have ever been coming into the festive season. What with the unexpected expenses of the cat and the car, all my holiday savings have gone. To buy a half-decent tree was going to be £60+. Then the was the whole inconvenience of having to dismantle my desk and store it in my bedroom to fit the tree in. A real tree tends to be quite girthy, so space has to be created for it.

Then I remembered the silver tree.

I always vowed that an artificial tree would never darken my doorstep, but … but … it was going to be so expensive to buy a real one, and think of all the mess of taking it down, of the pine needles being trodden everywhere throughout the house. Sod it, I thought, just this once I will think with my head and not my heart and use the tree I already had. Okay, it’s over twenty years old. Okay, it’s silver and skinny and looks like a bog brush. It’s free and convenient and will fit into the tiniest space so no removal of furniture will be necessary. It’s clean and packs neatly back into its box. I would use it.

Last weekend, I spent the whole of Saturday deep-cleaning the ground floor. I used to know someone who never bothered to clean before hanging up her Christmas decorations. We would sit there watching the tinsel and the cobwebs flutter in the breeze. Then Sunday I decorated. The lounge and dining room first. The mantlepieces looked stunning with a green garland threaded with twinkly lights and red glass candle holders. The Welsh dressing was adorned with precious festive bits and bobs, and then it was time to do the tree.

It wasn’t an auspicious start. The branches — or silver tinsel struts (branches are too grand a word for what this tree has) — were crushed from being in the box so I spent almost an hour teasing them into shape and fluffing up the tinsel. Then I wound the lights on. To my surprise, the tree took all of the lights I would normally have on a much bigger real tree. A small silver star on top as my antique Angel Gabriel was too big and heavy to use. Then I picked out my favourite decorations and started finding homes for them on the skinny branches. I obviously couldn’t use as many as normal, but I was surprised at how many the tree took. Then I stepped back and took a look.

Actually … it’s not bad. I don’t hate it. It’s kinda cute and neat and sparkly. It’s so compact and sits perfectly in the littlest space between the armchair and the wall. It’s very low maintenance, which is always a plus. I am forced to admit that I like it. I like it a lot, Although with all of those lights on it’s a bit like having a nuclear reactor in the corner of the lounge.

It just goes to show, you might not be able to polish a turd, but you can cover it in lights.

And on that note, I need to go. It’s growing dark and I still need to sort things ready for an early start to the Festive Foreword Christmas Book Sale tomorrow. By the time we are next due to chat it will be Christmas Eve. I’m hoping there will be a blog but am forewarning you now that I might run out of time so will take this opportunity to wish you all a very Merry Christmas.

Best Wishes

Julia Blake